The Voodoo Babies

In no particular order are the Voodoo Babies, fine specimens of Voodooology.

Drunken Master
Superhuman Strength: Balancing spreadsheets and warming toilets with body heat
Favorite Saying: (kick) Oh God!
The Drunken is one sweet guy who was once my Valentine's date and showed me a good time. He's a perfect gentleman...until you give him some liquor and booyah, he becomes superhuman Drunken Master. He loves a good time, that's all, and we would be bored stiff if he weren't around. He owns a lovely home complete with coke bottle windows, and one of these days he's going to be a CEO who buys me out.

Buff Bagwell
Superhuman Strength: Pimpin' hoes
Favorite Saying: Call me! or Where da bitches at?
Buff Bagwell is my brother, named after the wrestler who just is too big for his britches and has muscles where you least expect it. Buff is one cool guy, great to kick it with. I should tell you he has some physique and he maintains this by eating doughnuts and drinking beer. What a hero. Too bad his diet doesn't work for me.

Buffy
Superhuman Strength: Barista God
Favorite Saying: Hussy hussy hussy!
Back from his trip around Europe, Buffy is ready to take on the world, or is the world ready to take him on? He's a great cousin and the other little bro in my life. He's one of the hardest working and introspective guys I know, and I admire that in him. He takes great pictures of chicks. Kind of stalker-like, but you know, it runs in the family.

The Man Stealer
Superhuman Strength: Runnin' Thangs and Reproducin'
Favorite Saying: Heeeeeeeeeeeaaaaah
The Man Stealer has now put down her Stealer Crown now that she's married, but I'm not convinced. Now that it's proof that she's fertile, I'm sure that men everywhere will still flock to her side. She never leaves a man for myself or World o' Curls, damn her. But now she's got two men of her own. I met The Man Stealer at SFSU while working on my master's at SFSU. She is an aspiring event planner who I hope will plan my Coronation when I become Queen of the Universe.

The Chinoy
Superhuman Strength: Playing innocent and gettin' chicks sprung
Favorite Saying: Did she ask about me?
I love the Chinoy. We met through auspicious means, but nevertheless, he's been in my life for a good year and a half, and now that his stint with the USAF is going to be over soon, I have only a few months left to impregnate him with the Whooped Virus so that he stays out here. No snow, no tractors, no people who talk like dey got mahbuls in dey moufs. Next time a guy flakes on you when you're supposed to meet up for a date, give him a second chance. I'm glad I gave him his ;-)

Bouncy Balls and Black Socks (formerly the Clock Watcher), Beer Can (formerly The Closet Wife Beater), and The So-Called Shy Guy
Superhuman Strength: Scammin' with me, Beating small animals and girls into submission, and Talking only when the others are away
Favorite Saying: Ohh ten o'clock, You want some of this? and No, I don't normally talk a lot.
I put these three lovelies together not only because they're all related, it's because I think these guys pack way too much charm for their own good. I had the pleasure of hanging out with CWB and SCSG the other night, had a great time in honor of World of Curls' birthday. I wrote "My Faith in Men" based on that night, and I recently saw Planet of the Apes with BBBS. I'm one lucky girl. ;-)

Mami Chula
Superhuman Strength: Picking up on guys in restaurants
Favorite Saying: Do you have a cousin named Jorge?
By leaps and bounds, Mami Chula is one funny chick. The last of the doctors to finish her doctorate, she was up until all hours of the night handlin' her business and makin' thangs all righteous and proper. She also had me by cellphone 24-7 for consultations and rewording of sentences, and more often than not, she was able to talk it out and I said, "That sounds good." Like she needs me! ;-)

Palma Sutra
Superhuman Strength: Making faces
Favorite Saying: You're so retarded, oops, I mean funny.
Palma Sutra is one cool chick as well, another doctor in my program. She helped me so much by staying up with me untli 3 or 4 AM writing and writing and writing. We did a lot of studying together, pondering about life together, and we've shared many an hour just making books. She is a K-1 teacher in Millbrae and sometimes I think she has more fun than the kids cause she's such a great teacher. Thanks for introducing me to Mister Penis who has NOT produced YET!

Sugar3 and Hellraiser
Superhuman Strength: Being so damn cute
Favorite Saying: We'll start a traumatic event.
How cute can cute get? Watch these two. It makes the teeth rot because it's so sweet! That's why Sugar3 has his name. We go back to UCDavis...so many years.Just so Aileen knows, Hellraiser is more of a joke, dear. I just made Aileen's acquaintance early last month at The Apostle's birthday fete, and I bet she's just dyin' to see her name on the page! You're far too cute to be evil. But that's not what JJ says! Run JJ, RUN! She's gonna git you! ;-) Just kidding.

Dick in the Glass, EggTart (ne Confucious), Project Mayhem and Fabloaf
Superhuman Strength: Varying levels of alcohol tolerance, video game proficiency and layin' the mack hand down
Favorite Saying: Okaaaaaay.
These wonderful gentlemen came to me in funny ways, but that's okay, they're adorable nonetheless. The first three are part of the Cal Triumvirate, or as DiTG calls it, "The Cal Triple Offense." Right. They're always full of great stories, and wonderful to spend time with because they always make me laugh. I'd have to confess that it's easy to lose track of time when you're playin' Character Assassin with 'em. BAM! Penn and Teller.

Louisville Slugger
Superhuman Strength: Straight rhetoric
Favorite Saying: Haven't figured it out yet
The Slugger gets his name from his former place of schooling, and because he comes at you hard like a slugger, baby. A friend since my SFSU days, I admire his ability to drop science and knowledge, all while chillin' with a beer in his hand. He knows how to have a good time, and always has something good to say.

The Apostles

The Apostles are Voodoo Babies who have been promoted to highest level of the Voodoo Hierarchy. They are examples to all Voodoo Babies, and quite frankly, their shit doesn't stink. The Apostles are people who are most likely to have their theme music playing in their heads when they walk down the street. People look at them because they are all that and a bowl of rice. I think the Apostles are sexy bitches, much like myself.

The Apostle

Superhuman Strength: Beating the Drunken Master at Mini Golf
Weakness: Cutesy things that make him go "ooooh!"
Favorite Saying: That was FRESH.
Formerly called the Sexy Geek, The Apostle was the first to gain Apostle Status. Said status was earned by helping Voodoo Babe in every technical aspect of web dev, including hookin' a girl up with the Voodoo computer and other assorted unnamed toys that won't be mentioned here for fear of copyright infringement. The Apostle and I go way back to 1991 where this Voodoo helped him work out some kinks in his back in Tahoe. He drives an Audi, which really is a big Passat.

Heavy Jumbo

Superhuman Strength: Beating back Amway sellers
Weakness: Wrasslin'
Favorite Saying: OHCHYUP!
Heavy and I go back to Fall 1988 at the University of California Davis where we went to school. I met Heavy when my roommate said to me, "There's a Filipino guy downstairs!" So I had to check brotha man out, and we've been friends ever since. Recently I went to visit Heavy at his headquarters in San Mateo where he has quite possibly the biggest puppy known to mankind. Heavy once wrassled me and my roommate to the ground, and tried as we might, we just couldn't kick his ass. He gains Apostle status because he's so damn cool.

Mista J

Superhuman Strength: Blogging
Weakness: Chicks in Porno Platform Shoes and Jack Daniels
Favorite Saying: Smell my hand.
Mista J used to be a student of mine at USF, and has this brotha come a long way. In many ways, he's the bro that every girl should have. He knows how to help a girl out, but he also keeps it real by trying to nail every single chick out there. Can't hate a brother for tryin'. Responsible for the young minds that he teaches, I know that they will probably be screaming Westsyyyyyyyyde Ryyyyyyyders in no time. Peace, my brutha, to the east, blackness. Recently a 30-year-old, Fred still retains his affections for women half his age.

Nekkid Barrel Man

Superhuman Strength:Web Design
Weakness: Chicks with Dicks
Favorite Saying: I know spanish, I watch TELEMUNDO!
Nekkid knows how to show a girl around town. I went to visit bro in San Diego and had a blast. We dropped philosophy, talked about God and figured out that we're just pawns in this game dyin' for a shot at the title. He has an awesome webpage that I'd recommend you check out once he figures out what he's going to do with it. Just kiddin' ading, now get your ass back in the lab and school us in web sassy...He also likes to sing Sisqo's slow jam "Incomplete" at the top of his fucking lungs.

World of Curls

Superhuman Strength: Perilously High Shoes, Abs and Afroriffic Hair
Weakness: Men
Favorite Saying: Oh.
World of Curls is such an appropriate name for Carolyn. You might not know what World of Curls is, but it's a curl activator for African American hair. Go figure, and those curls are real, but really hard work according to her. Diverse in her interests, World o' Curls feels at home in the gym just as much as she does getting dressed up to go to a formal. We met in Fall of 1994 when I started work on my masters at SFSU, and she was a sophomore. Props to her fresh Jetta which never ever gets dirty. She tends to go through car withdrawal if it is not in her driveway.

The Boy Wonder

Superhuman Strength: Quoting Movie Lines
Weakness: A big butt and a smile
Favorite Saying: You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
The Boy Wonder and I once spent a good hour or two choppin' it up over relationships in some hallway at SFSU, and ever since then we've been fast friends. Even though he's in Mighty Stocktown, we talk almost every day online...he helps me keep it real, and also provides some great topics for discussions that last for hours on end. Check out his web page when you get the chance...if he ever updates it!

The Wolf

Superhuman Strength: Pelting people with shampoo bottles while dodging ferrets
Weakness: Skinny girls with vitamin deficiencies
Favorite Saying: Prrrt prrrrt (Cricket sound)
Alas, I am a bad Voodoo. I left The Wolf, this stunningly talented and wonderful person off my Directory...and he had to email me to remind me of his standing in the Voodoo World. 100 apologies, and I will definitely come up to Sacramento if you ever need me to do any more work.Wolf's webpage is one of the neatest pages out there, and I love the pic of the parakeet. He's amazingly talented in the area of music and web design. He's always found humming a tune or bustin' on someone, and props to him as he continues working on his master's in counseling to work with dem jacked up kids like I do. Sorry for the omission, but now you got my permission to render a submission upon my site. Peace bro!