11 Days In
I am sitting at a desk, ear half-cocked to my right listening to the television, as well as listening to see if Bambina is going to stir after having passed her onto Husbandido. My arms are cramped, but that's not a bad thing, I rationalize. I have, after all, just fed her and lulled her to sleep as only a mother can, I suppose.
So much has happened over the last few days, and I wish now in retrospect that I had updated you earlier. I wanted to walk you through the harrowing few hours of labor, the moments when I didn't have a drop of drugs in my system, sure I was going to break the bed's anti-roll off arms because it hurt that bad. I wanted to tell you about how determined I was to push even though I was stuck at 9cm for the longest time. I will, but not tonight.
People have been asking me what it's like...what it's like to have her finally, how recovery has been going, and here's my response: Even though I'm sleep deprived, and at times have snapped at Husbandido, I can't compare this feeling with anything I've ever had before. She's amazing, she's hilarious, she has a head of hair that makes me laugh, and she's all that we ever hoped she would be. Recovery has been hard, but I can stand up normally now, I can walk without feeling like I'm going to fall over. My feet are better fit to be on hippos as opposed to humans, but that too will pass.
Luckily my folks are here to help out, and that's been amazing. There's been a steady flow of visitors, especially on the weekend, and it throws me off a bit because I like to nap here and there when she's asleep. I've been fielding phone calls and emails here and there, but I'm more likely to update facebook just because it's easier. And I can't afford to miss anything these days.
Husbandido has been amazing, and like I told my cousins when we brought Bambina home: don't go out and just get pregnant with any piece of ass out there. I don't know I could have come this far without someone I trust to be by my side at my worst, when my pain was the most unbearable, when I was the most vulnerable and tested. If you can't trust someone to be with you during those times, then just don't do it. I don't know how some women do it, but they do, and I feel sorry for those that don't have a partner to walk them through the fire.
I've been passing my days watching movies, mastering the art of falling asleep while seated, and breastfeeding half asleep. That's life. I don't think I'd trade it for anything.
I do, however, miss my bed. It's been almost two weeks since I've slept in it, only because when Bambina feels like singing for her supper, we know the next door neighbors can hear us, and we kept them up the first night. We have been sleeping on a futon on the floor in our living room. Believe it or not, it works for us.
Big thanks for my friends who came over...I really appreciated the time we spent together, and to my family. One big F-U to my cousin who just had to see what I was doing underneath my nursing cover. Yes, that's my kid, and yes that's my boob, you jerkface. No wonder we're not close. Okay, well that's my update for now...I might bust out a gabcast for you just because that might be easier than finding time to sit and blog for ya.
At any rate, off to my new gig. Motherhood. Peace!
Voodoo