Voodoo Child v. 17: Welcome to the One Woman Show

Secondly, I'm not well because despite being in freakin' paradise, my psoriasis is so bad that I'm having problems walking. I'm near tears for the last few days, and I honestly don't know what to do. I went to the beach today and despite being a little beached whale, I put on a bikini so I can

get optimal sun. I try to not be so self conscious, but it's hard when I'm used to feeling the eyes of the world on me. I hate being in close quarters with people especially when I'm in a bad way. And I AM in a bad way. I am debating on going to the hospital to get something. I don't know what they
could possibly give me that I don't already have, but it's horrible.

Living with a chronic condition is a pain in the ass maybe five days of the entire year. I wonder why now and why here. I'm on vacation for another week, but I feel like shit and I don't know what to do with myself right now. Well, enough of the pity party. I've learned from my disease that I have to just roll with it, and look for the lessons that I need to learn in how to take care of myself. But on a beach, I don't want to learn. Just want to be darker than you.

I am here with El Husbandido (who has a sunburn), and four of his bros and their respective others. We're in a house together, and cooking has been one of my responsibilities, albeit it's one of my weaker points. BTW, did you notice on the top right hand corner of my page that I have updates on what I've been up to? Just wondering.

Let me backtrack a few weeks since my last post. My colleague, who sometimes gets the best of me, is leaving me on the 18th of Jan. I have less than two weeks to pick up where he left off. I also have to get my shit together and hire someone on the quick fast. My class ended, and it was a great learning experience. I will do a better job next semester, and I'm looking forward to it. I'll have a new coteacher which was part of the problem for this semester. I'm done with that chapter. Only onto the new one, right?

Also, I have come to the conclusion that I need to have some serious life changes. No more late nights to bed. No more chocolate feeding frenzies (this as I'm surrounded by chocolate covered macs, my god). More gym. Less sugar. I've come to a realization that part of my problems stem from not being balanced in my life, and this kills me. Literally. Some of you may know that we are trying to have a baby. Well, it turns out that I might not be ovulating because I'm overweight. Gawd. I had a doctor who told me to lose 50 lbs. The fact is yes, that might be better for me to be closer to 120 than the current 172 I am now (god that looks worse when I write it down). Also, I'm keenly aware that my skin might be tied to it as well. So one of my major goals is to drop weight, specificially 25 lbs. I am happy to do this because it's time.

I think in my infinite wisdom, this means the blog will probably be more personal as I try to accomplish these two tasks, but it will also mean that you'll get to go along for the ride as I struggle through what's easy and what's not. I'll put this out there: if anyone manages to give me anything that will stick and help me the most, I'll donate a decent sum to your favorite charity. And NO you are not a charity. A charity case, maybe. Just kidding, love ya!

So happy new year to you, and to me. I look forward to this interesting ride, and if you ever need a walk-around-the-park buddy, let me know!

Hugs from Kailua,
Voodoo