Voodoo Lounge v.12.1: I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!

Thinking Outside the Box?

The High-Rise IQ's
Which is the most creative American city? According to the creativity index of Richard Florida, a professor at Carnegie Mellon University, these are the top cities for regions with over a million people.
1. San Fransisco
2. Austin, Tex.
3. (tie) San Diego
Boston
5. Seattle
6. Raleigh-Durham, N.C.
7. Houston
8. Washington/Baltimore
9. New York
10. (tie) Dallas
Minneapolis-St. Paul

Nuff Sed.
Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 6:15:00 PM

Chillin in the Corner Office

Politics, I tell you. But before I go there, the good news. I moved into the phattie corner office. Windows. Large. Hilariously large. Welcome to the big time. After being in the gig for two years now, I've lustfully stared at this office with the thought and promise that one day it will be mine. Today it is. Literally. We should all have a party in my huge digs.

You do know, of course, that this hugeness came with the promotion, thank you very much, and I'm now running the entire outfit by myself. 200+ students. 4 staff members. Oh yah baby, this shit is goin' to be live. It's going to be Voodooriffic.

And you also know that promotions often come with costs including way increased responsibilities, because hey, life is like that, and the challenges get bumped up one. Wherein lay the problem. I was presented with a situation that I thought was going to be copacetic after I made an outstanding recommendation. Well, someone who was going in on it with me decided to give me the very polite hand and tell me that she didn't want to go along with it. {curse} Oh really now. You didn't want to deal with it. Great. Just fucking great. Now I have to explain this to my boss, my boss's boss AFTER you told me it was okay. {/curse}

Politickin' isn't my forte. Okay, I lied, it is. I can work and politick like there's no tomorrow, but I hate it. I hate playing the role, kowtowing to supposed greatness when we know, we BOTH know, that you're outta my league. Sound pretty smug? Sure, why not, I've earned it. I know my place. Now you know yours. Amazing thing, the ego.

Oh well, that's life for the Voodoo, my honies. It's simultaneously cool yet ab-so-fucking-lutely mundane.

But let me be mundane from the corner office. Hold my calls. I'm blogging.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 11:44:00 PM

Not So Bald Head of the Month

Ichiro Suzuki, I want your children.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 11:24:00 PM

Whew, Part 2

My god. Where has the time gone?

In the last few weeks, I've had the greatest pleasure of blogging for blind date blog. Now, I'm sure you have SOME idea of what it is, but if not, I won't get into the details, but I will give the lessons learned:

1. Blogging for an audience means that someone is bound to disagree with you and go at it full force. Yah so what, get over it.
2. Being thoughtful takes time. Being an asshole takes about five seconds.
3. Wow, it's amazing what people will do for the attention.
4. Erotic fantasies = Boring. Rough sex and shit that couldn't possibly be true because we know you're faking the funk? = Interesting.
5. Everything thing you know about dating is wrong.
6. Everything you know about bullshit is right.
7. People come out of the woodwork when they see you blog. It's almost scary. Wait, it is scary.
8. Remember that shit you said about two months ago and no one said a thing about it? It will come back to haunt you.

Oh ya and

1. People are assholes! Really!

See you on the other side of the morning.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 10:47:00 PM

Whew

Okay I'm finally done with the school year. I helped about 1,000 students get ready for graduation. Literally 1,000. I managed to close out the books on my seven programs, and now I get my life back. I've been promoted to yet another level of incompetency. I get the corner office, and I also get the chance to finally exhale. It's been a tough year including the death of one of my students, a colleague, and enough politics to choke a very large elephant seal.

Exhale.

So. Now I have reports to write, pre-planning to do, review of programs, editing two books, writing for another two, draft curriculum plans for classes I'll be teaching in the fall, reorganizing the department, training two interns and another staff member. Oh yah, prep for the presentations I'm doing at a national convention. Oh yah, have a life.

Exhale.

No problem.
Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 8:07:00 PM

Serendipity

(with thanks to Dayv)

i want somebody who sees the pointlessness
and still keeps their purpose in mind
i want somebody who has a tortured soul
some of the time
i want somebody who will either put out for me
or put me out of misery
or maybe just put it all to words
and make me go, you know
i never heard it put that way
make me say, what did you just say?

i want somebody who can hold my interest
hold it and never let it go
someone who can flatten me with a kiss
that hits like a fist
or a sentence, that stops me like a brick wall
if you hear me talking
listen to what i'm not saying
if you hear me playing guitar
listen to what i'm not playing
and don't ask me to put words
to all the silences i wrote
don't ask me to put words
to all the spaces between notes
in fact if you have to ask, forget it
do and you'll regret it
i'm tired of being the interesting one
i'm tired of having fun for two
just lay yourself on the line
and i might lay myself down by you
but don't sit behind your eyes
and wait for me to surprise you
i want somebody who can make me
scream until it's funny
give me a run for my money
i want someone who can
twist me up in knots
tell me, for the woman who has everything
what have you got?
i want someone who's not afraid of me
or anyone else
in other words i want someone
who's not afraid of themself

do you think i'm asking too much?

It's amazing what you can find where you least expected it. Not that I've found someone, no, that hasn't happened (although I consistently fall in love every 45.3 minutes). But words alone can speak volumes. Ya dig?

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 9:35:00 PM

Confidential #3

A repost.

How to Spit Game at your Friend's Lady/Man

Now listen up Chirren, it's time for you to gather around the little coffee table, and listen to the story I'm about to tell.

Spitting game, or as the regular people call it "macking", has to be done with the subtlety and smooth approach like fine vodka. You must be able to have your victim or object of affection be so unaware that you're gaming him/her/it that not only until a few minutes later, BAAAM! She's faded/in love. He's buying you things/introducing you to his mama. It's letting you comb its fur/rub its belly. Ahhh, just like that Cosmo I had the other day. Smooth. I drank like a fish. Then BAAAM! I'm on the floor and I don't know where I am.

That, my children, is spitting game.

Now how to apply this technique to your unassuming friends and their significant others. First and foremost, please have a good wingman/woman/puppy. This will disarm the individual, freeing you to homewreck and swoop with the ferocity of a hawk upon the gentle little bunny that is your target. Once the individual is rendered harmless, work your way over to your intended. Do not swoop. Visually, that is. Instead, aloofness is always key. "Oh hey, what are you doing?" Is always better than, "So what's up, you wanna bone?"

The next part is the hard part.

Mackage depends largely on your skill and ability to use your newfound vodka-like abilities to wreak havoc and attain access to the holiest of holies: No, not the Voodoo Child, come on now. Well, the holiest of holies will vary, dependent on your particular kink or twist. Enjoy. Now back to Mackage. The Voodoo recommends that you apply your Mack Ability wisely. DO NOT GIVE OUT THE MACK every five minutes. Are you crazy? Think of the Mack-a-roni as a depletable supply. You only get so many chances. Dole it out little by little. Drop by aching drop. Feeeeeeeel the mackage floooooooow through your boooooooody. Don't just gush all over the place. You'll get a HAND to the face. Then you have to start all over again. Geezus, didn't I teach you anything?!?!

Seep the mackage, then back off. Continue to have the Wingman apply firm pressure to your soon to be bethrothed's ex. Mack again. Back off. Repeat as needed. Do not get any into your eyes.

Get a number. But how?

"Yo, when you ditch the zero, you can get with the hero."
"You wanna turn and burn?"
"Hey you're cool to hang out with...maybe we should hang out again."

Right, stick with the last one.

Get the digits, but dont' be a smuck. Call in a few days. Say what's up, then, hey, I gotta go. See! Leave 'em longin! Yaaaah. Then do the same in a few days. Hang out with your boy/girl/shim for a few days in between. Keep up appearances. Give the obsessee your number. Why don't you call if you got time. I gotta go. BAM!

Answering machine flashes: 3

Ooooooooh.

This technique should only be attempted with full knowledge that macking on one's homie's lady/dude/cat could lead to serious consequences not limited to, but including forced sex change, beatings and behind the back mackage on your mama. This should only be attempted by trained professionals.

Any success stories using the Voodoo Method of How to Spit Game at your Friend's Lady/Man? Please utilize the comments.

Gitcho groove on.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 12:40:00 AM

Nice puppy!

Are you a dog person or a cat person? I'm a dog person, and here's why.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 3:36:00 PM

Can you smelelelellelelelelelelelellelelelelellelelellllllllll...

You know you watch wrasslin'. I know you do. So check out this page, Grapple Rock, if you can't live without your Monday Nitro, RAW is WAR, and gafflin' Pay Per View. You know who you are.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 1:07:00 AM

Oh Okay

Ever play Super Mario Brothers?

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 10:09:00 PM

Confidential Part 2

It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself

Winner of the Flash Me Competition

It's gonna be.....(drumroll)Fabloaf. There will be some honorable mentions, like Chelvis and Prostrate Checka. We'll see, fellas.

Fortune Nookie

I was at a Vietnamese restaurant today with the Cynical One and Jabba. We were dining on some fine munchies, snickering into our rice over the conversation that two older white women were having behind us. The waiter comes up and asks if everything is great. "Oh yes, it's fabulous." He leaves the check, and then one of them says quite loudly, "Do we get fortune cookies?"

Nice.

The Shit List

1. People who can't drive.
2. Peple who cant' spel.
3. Control freaks.
4. Bad food.
5. People who are flakes.
6. People who don't know how to be good guests.
7. People who don't dress for the rain and then complain about how rainy it is.
8. Bad books.
9. Too much money sitting around.
10. Too little money sitting around.
11. Not enough time.
12. Lawrence Welk.

Okay I had to get that off my chest. Thanks.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 9:57:00 PM

Confidential

Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow
"Why are you so far away?" she said
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you
That I'm in love with you"

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 9:25:00 PM

Yoda Wrecks Shop

Project Mayhem and I went to see Star Wars. Prior to that we shared some chili fries (mine with meat scraped off) and I had a choco-banana shake. He had the vanilla oreo as opposed to the chocolate oreo, and all were happy.

I personally dug the flick, however, Mayhem preferred Episode I. What's up with Saruman bein' Dooku? Hello? Typecast? Someone help me out here. Anyways, I always love hyped up people, and trust me, the audience was trippin' over Yoda. Of course, you would too if you saw this. Don't worry, ain't my bootleg.

It gets two thumbs up for animation, the pointing Asian Finger (how does YOUR Dad point at stuff on a piece of paper?) for the corny whiny ass Anakin character as well as the artificial love scene (do we really care about them?), and someone bring me young Han Solo.

Ooh big ups to Jimmy Smits, the first Latino character in Star Wars (no, Chuy doesn't count), and the Asian woman jedi knight!

Off to bed with dreams of fighting mad Yoda in my head.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 3:50:00 AM

I Want to Flash You

It's time to have a contest. Tell me why I should make a flash movie about you. I'll throw it onto beatsrhymesnlife.com AND I'll give you a copy of it for your own web page. See how nice I am? Now come on, use the comments and see yourself immortalized in .swf. By the way, extra points for a picture!

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 9:25:00 PM

A whole new world.....

You guys kill me. Before I tell you what the lie was, I'll have to say it's nice to be back in San Francisco, baby. I tell you: as much as I LOVE hot weather, I do NOT LOVE desert heat. Yes, 98 degrees in the sun peels skin off your body and makes you just want to crank up the AC and drink all the cool water you can find. But that did not stop me from laying out, nor did it stop me from hanging out with my fellow strangers in Vegas.

I spent a lot of time driving around in my little Kia Spectra Piece of Shit. I also took forever trying to get used to the lack of guts...the thing couldn't speed up to save its life. I enjoyed tooling around, getting the feel for the new digs, etc. Trying to find out where the mall is, where the nearest eateries are. You know, when you're new, you want to find out where the food sources are! So a-drivin' I went, and sure enough I found it all. But I wound up going to the Strip to dine. I'm not one to do buffets by myself, because face it, it's not that fun when you're by yourself. You gotta have feedback, support, and maybe a little bit of challenge to see what is the weirdest combination you can come up with (Scrambled eggs, spaghetti, collard greens and chocolate pudding). At any rate, travellin' by myself is nothing new to me, and I wound up meeting quite a few characters. All whilst chillin' solo.

Which brings me to the conclusion of our lovely Two Truths and a Lie competition. I was hoping for some comments, people. I can usually rely on some of you to chime in a word or two. I'm disappointed. So Aladdin? You think that was fake? Six of you said it was. Well, honey, when he gets to SF in a few weeks, guess who he's gonna call? ME. Yes, it did happen. He was cute, even with the 50lbs. He works at the Paris hotel, and god forbid, he had to respond/talk to me in broken french. Hilarious. It's hotel/casino policy. Psyeah. I did have to lie to the pool boy to get into the pool area. I mean I could have just reclined on a chair without a towel, but that would have been both painful and not cute. So I had to lie, but luckily, I have an old Luxor room key that I never turned in, and I'll just leave that in Vegas for the next time I need to get some sun. I am honestly not surprised that very few of you chose the Sephora mack game. I get hit on by the bros a lot, but this particular incident didn't happen. I mean he did mess with me, but it didn't get past, "aight then girlie, you have a good night."

Sure, buddy.

So congratulations to the wise duo who chose Sephora Mack game because THAT was the lie.

Peas!
Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 10:29:00 PM

Two Truths and a Lie

I was at a restaurant and met a cute waiter who used to play Aladdin at Disneyland (when he was 50 lbs lighter, so he said.) He said, I'm going to San Francisco. I said, "where are you staying?" "Probably somewhere in the Castro." "Are you--" "No." "Okay then, call me."

I got followed around by a black dude at Sephora. He asked me the usual, "Are you from around here? You wanna hook up later?" I laughed at him like I laughed at pecker boy from the club.

I went to the Pool Boy (yes Pool BOY) at the Luxor and told him my boyfriend had the room key and I can't find him so "Could I please get a towel?" *pout* *blink blink* *big eyes*. Him: "Sure, but next time." Me: "okay!" *skipping away*

Guess!







Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 1:52:00 PM

Go to the Desert

I'm off to Vegas in a few short minutes, and I'm leaving at a very inopportune time because of work, but alas, I've been given the green light, so fuck it, I'm outtie.

Getting ready to go on any trip ensures that I'll be up late the night before doing things I should have done earlier. Packing, washing clothes, flirting with naps, talking to boys. You know me, I'm the queen of distraction. Procrastination. Drama. Gay Clubs. IMs. I'm happy to be away for awhile, although trips are always better if you share it with someone. I would like to think that I'm going away on a real trip by myself, to replicate Paris or Barcelona, but that's not going to happen for awhile. It's all good, I suppose. Those trips will come in due time.

So I don't know if I'll have access to blog-la-la, because where I'm going, there isn't even a phone, which means I'm going to have to scrounge around for an internet cafe. Great. I hope the ones there are as nice as the ones in Europe. On that note, I'm off to finish getting my life together before The Apostle fetches me and deposits me at the airport. I'll see you on the other end of the commute, as I like to say.

Be nice to each other when I'm gone. I'd hate to have to come back and slap someone around, unless you're into that sort of thing.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 7:03:00 AM

Old Navy Owns Me

Three bills. Old Navy. Six pairs of pants. Two more for Mom. Four Tanks.

Spare no expense when it comes to threads that fit my peanut-shaped frame. Kind of miss buying things for people. But before those of you shoot over your requests for Sugar Mama Payee Accounts, it's Dia de los Madres, and I have to put out for Moms. Gotta. So this is the kind of spoilage that I am used to, for those in my family (Buff Bagwell always get something on my shopping trips) and for loved ones (Mm. This would look nice on him. Fabulous.)

I dropped so much change it's time for me to take a nap. Got a spending habit.

Oh yah, let me know what you want Sugar Voodoo Mama to pick up for you on the next shopping trip. You just might get it.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 6:17:00 PM

Blind Date Blog

K, it's vote time. I'm not a vote whore like some folks are, but hey, if you want to, go for it. Check out the button on the lower corner of the left sidebar. Click and be saved.

Voodoo aka Char

posted by Voodoo Child @ 12:14:00 AM

Almond Roca Soy Mocha Double Tall No Whip

sometimes i wonder how different my life would be had i not had my friends to kick my ass when i needed it most. today i couldn't get out of bed to save my life, so i listened/zoned to NPR for about an hour and i still got to work earlier than i did yesterday. how does my car get so dirty? i want mail. why do i keep all these papers on my desk? if someone sends me a job description should i apply for it? does he still think about me? fuck him. did i turn off my computer? what's for lunch? i hope my proposal to teach gets accepted. i want to go to paris, but i have no ends. that boy is cute, too bad he'll never know i'm crushin' on him. i had a good time last night. i shouldn't have stayed up late. i need to sleep. i have a dinner tonight. i have no date. i like hands. the urge to kiss someone is so strong that i don't even care who i kiss at this point. don't blink too long. i hate not having a blog up first thing in the morning. hello, how are you doing today? i am going to miss some of my students when they graduate. i lost the cap to my favorite perfume, and now i can't use it at all. can't he just say how he feels? aj aj aj aj aj! i am happy to be single, really. i just miss conversation. i want a fuzzy monkey. i don't want a fuzzy monkey. i want to go dancing on saturday. problem is, no one wants to go. maybe i'll go solo. no problem. i hope no one tries the dick in the backpocket move again. i haven't done shit at work yet. i am so ready for vacation. vegas, baby. three days with absolutely no agenda except to buy a toothbrush. i like life. did i miss out on something along the way tho? pork! the other white meat. blind date blog? an experiment in meeting other people. i'm an introvert, really. i think i've gotten this way as i've gotten older. i want a dog. i like singing, but don't know if i'm good at it. wish i had some play doh. it smells good. sorta like the way dittos used to smell. why is it that dittos always felt cold? hand cranking the mimeograph. one hand clapping. music to a girl's ears. coach bag/hat/wallet/phone case. shop therapy. fuzzy monkey. love. me. now. he'll never know. time to work.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 10:55:00 AM

Outta It

Sorry Kids, life has put me on autopilot at least for the next few days because of work/life/decompression mode. I hope that's okay with you, but I'm alive, I swear.

I went out with Project Mayhem tonight, shot some pool (sucked horribly, so what else is new?), threw back some drinks, and inhaled Mayhem's coffee breath. Mmm. Folgers.

Life is grand, sorta. So off to blind date blog I go.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 1:02:00 AM

Sure It's Insomnia

I don't know what it is, but I've been staying up past 2AM every night this week. I don't know why, but I simply don't feel like "being put down" for the night. Problem comes when I get to work in the morning. Or rather, when I can't drag my sorry ass out of bed. Here's what happens:

7:00AM: NPR wakes me up with some gloom and doom story about how fucked up the world is. I wake up, pick my sorry head off the pillow, then go back to bed.

7:17AM: The 2nd shrill ass alarm goes off. I fumble around for the remote that is underneath my pillow. Snooze.

7:20AM: The 3rd alarm goes off. Reach over. Snooze.

*snooze button suffers from abuse for at least another 20 minutes*

7:50AM: Jump out of bed because I think it's 9:50 and I'm late for work.

7:52AM: Brush teeth with eyes half open. Wash face and make mistake of closing eyes while washing up. Feel...very...sleepy.

7:54AM: Ponder what clothes are still clean enough for me to wear to work today.

8:00AM: Still undressed, have no idea of what to wear.

8:01AM: Frantically looking for calendar to make sure that I don't have any meetings that start at 8:30 because I'd be screwed.

8:03AM: If I've left AIM on overnight, go to chatroom with Boston peeps and chat. Still undressed.

8:10AM: Get up to find clothes to wear. Settle for somewhat clean outfit.

8:12AM: Go back to chatroom. Ponder wearing sandals to work because I can't find a matching pair of socks.

8:15AM: Put on makeup, struggle with newly long hair.

8:17AM: Change outfit.

8:20AM: Go back to chatroom.

8:25AM: Throw belongings in Timbuk2 bag. Can't find keys.

8:30AM: Still can't find keys. Put down bag and curse loudly. Parrot joins in with cursing.

8:32AM: Find keys underneath previously worn outfit. Curse.

8:33AM: Go outside to car. Realize I've forgotten something upstairs. Curse and smile while waving at neighbor's kid who is deathly afraid of me and won't wave back, little shit.

8:35AM: Get whatever I forgot and go back to the car. Repeat two more times.

8:45AM: Finally on the road and stuck in traffic. Don't see any cute guys on the road. Curse.

That's my day. Welcome to my world.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 9:47:00 AM

What KIND of Donations?

Scroll down a bit, my love, see that button? Oh yah, donate now, frequently, and with vigor.

Thanks Princess Erin. Muah! Her site CRACKS me up.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 6:52:00 PM

Voodoo Spoken Word Project for Sale

Hey everyone, I got my hot little hands on the recording I did for The Wolf, as well as other acts he produced, and I'm sellin' it for measly 10 bucks. Got some dope cuts you'll like: some singin', some DJin', some rappin', and of course, yours truly, the Voodoo as the Lead Off Hitter.

Now, this is not some ghetto production, but it's a tight CD, and I listen to that mess all the time. Yah, I could be supa ghetto and burn it for you for free, but I'm trying to help my bro The Wolf out by giving him the scrills (you like that Fabloaf?) so he can put out another album. I'm supposed to be working on a cut for the next one too, so I'll hit you up when that comes around.

If you're interested, drop me a line. I'll deliver that ish personally to you, or if you leave your addy, I'll mail it to you myself.

Peace love, and buy my shit!

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 12:00:00 AM

a post from www.blinddateblog.com

The Hunger of Memory
I was driving home today and recalled some acting stuff I did a while ago. I remember someone saying, can you cry on cue? Then I thought about it, speeding along Oak Street's hills, and lo and behold I almost was beside myself, nearly bawling like a frigging idiot at 40 miles and hour. In order for me to achieve said bawling on cue, I do what a lot of actors/actresses do, think of the single most saddest moment of your life. Which would lead me to the last relationship I had.

The last serious relationship I had (almost a year and a half ago) taught me to take risks and to let go of the side of the Pool of Life and tread my way to the middle and enjoy the happiness that comes from freedom. Little did I know that said Pool was gettin' pissed in by the damn Pool Boy. I won't get into details because it's not worth the bandwidth and because I don't care to see if I can bawl on cue again. In retrospect the relationship ended on a very bad note, but I walked out of it alive and with everything intact, albeit I predict that I'll be a little bit more sensitive to the next man, whoever that should be. But I'm okay. Cue up "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor already.

I learned the difference between love and Love. I learned how to work at making a relationship strong. I learned how to stand for what I believe in even if it meant disagreeing with someone I love. I know my limits. I also learned that I need my independence, my own space, and my side of the bed. I also learned that the walls of my house aren't that thick, and that whether you're getting fucked/screwed/made love to, it's all an intimate act. And finally, I know how to walk away from bullshit, and that my time is too precious to be wasted with triflin' brothas.

But I'd take the risk. Until I get it right.

Get busy living or get busy dyin'. --Shawshank Redemption

That's goddamn right.
Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 7:31:00 PM

THE SEVEN STAGES OF DRUNKENNESS

I All topics found humorous
II Linguistic play
III Overcompensated daintiness
IV Shouting sadness
V Out of body experiences
VI Severe inert reverie
VII Passage into the epiphanic stream

I was searching for my old travels in France, and I heard saw that. Hilarious, isn't it. Reflect and ponder. Speaking of travels, Boston pics are up.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 2:55:00 PM

Broke as a Joke

I just finished paying back my bills. Overdue bills, not quite overdue bills. Oops, they're going to shut off my electrcity bills. Now I'm totally broke.

But there is some satisfaction in getting this all done. I've got a pile of papers at my feet and boy does it feel good to get that outta the way. But I'm still broke. So no more partying for the Voodoo Child. Guess that means I can't be sugar mama to certain loved ones like I usually am.

Time to go back to having organic fun. IN other words, fun with no price tag (sneaking into the movies, bumming rides off people, finding out where the free lunches are at work). Wish me luck.

Hit the comments for me: what's the bill that you despise paying every month?

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 12:57:00 PM

Checking In before I Check Out

I've had a full day. Shopping for gifts for some students of mine. Dinner with students. Girls' Night Out. And now, BDB, I am all yours. I believe the offers of catnip, JD Chocolate Cake and the Jesse-administered vibratorfest will be readily accepted. I roll on my back. Now rub my tummy, fools, before I change my mind. Cher-dawg, roll with me to Serramonte and let's catcall the pinoys with the shaved heads escorting their Lolas to Target.

I'm sitting at my computer listening to a lecture on NPR about sustainable agriculture. No, I'm not a farmer, nor am I wearing overalls. But I am an NPR freak. When not bumping Circuit Party Radio, this is what I'm doing. Despite what you might think, my ghetto pass also comes with the well-worn library card.

I'm not going to get into details about the speech itself, but I happened to catch the speaker discussing sustainable agriculture as the metaphor for the sacred. Sustainability dictates working with what we are given, in this case, nature; in order to work with nature, we must develop the capacity to treat well not only the land but those who work the land. This is inclusive of the capacity to care for others, to foster hope, and to ultimately be motivated by love. Sustainable communities are founded thusly: what we wish to cultivate and nurture must be guided by a clear and intentional path.

Fair enough, what we wish to gain we must work hard to achieve. But more importantly, being guided by love serves us best. Not that I have to love anyone on the blog, because I'm sure that's entirely possible, but I know that I wish to share love with others and that should suffice, or does it? When you do what you love, it shows. When you attempt to fake love, that shows too. That being said, what you do out of love is sacred.

And that brings to full circle my day of shopping for gifts for my students who are graduating, then taking them dinner; cancelling well-made plans to be with my girlfriends because we needed to come together to help with a situation. I'm exhausted, yes, but those things are done out of love, and that to me is sacred.

See you on the other side of the dawn,
Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 2:16:00 AM

Guess Who's Going on Blind Date

Check out Blind Date Blog. Go onto the site, read the blog. Vote for me or don't, ca me fait rien. At any rate, have fun.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 2:03:00 PM

Wow, that's three posts today

Egg Tart and I were pondering the validity of our existence on the Internet as measured by the amount of fan mail we receive from our beloved readers. Now, I confess that I adore email, I'm quite the nifty email queen. I get emails left and right from folks, yet there are some beautiful people out there for one reason or another haven't given me an email yet.

Not that I need the validation, mind you, but I know I get hits. I'm just starting to get curious as to who some of you beautiful people are.

Let's see, there's the level3.net person.
The sfsu.edu person.
Lots of aol.com people.
The montclairgroup.com person.
Stimulusdesign.com boy I know who you are.
Wizcom.com person.

Email me already, confess your deepest darkest sins! Let me know you! Let me name my kids after you! Join the millions (and MILLIONS) of Voodoo Babies that grace my pages!

How desperate is that?
Now write me.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 11:00:00 PM

Another porn site for men

Wood. Gets 'em every single time. Oh how I adore men and their weaknesses. Now that is sexy.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 9:32:00 PM

How I'm Feeling

Sometimes people ask "How are you?" with little regard for your actual feelings. I was listening to Lenny Kravitz today and came across this:

Life is just a lonely highway
I’m out here on the open road
I’m old enough to see behind me
But young enough to feel my soul

Then that seemed to be the perfect response to that question. I doubt I'll ever remember to say it when some random person asks me how I'm doing, but if you must know, that's what's running through my mind right now.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 12:30:00 AM

The Return of the Mucus Factory

What a fine predicament. I went to Vegas with the intent of having a chill time with the family but wound up catching a slight cold which has kicked the dormant Mucus Factory into overdrive. It has caused me to walk the planet in a fog these last 24 hours, and I'm still not feeling well. I hope that you're feeling way better than I am. To say it as Will Ferrell did in Silent Bob and Jay Strike Back SWEET IRONY!

I got to the airport, parked the car in the short term parking (big BIG mistake) and headed up to the terminal. I take out my journal, as is wont to do in these situations, and I wind up not having a pen. I think to myself I have so many fucking pens it's ridiculous and yet again SWEET IRONY to not have a one to write my warped little thoughts with. I wound up snapping pictures in the terminal of useless things with my camera that will probably fuck it up, but hey, life is cool like that. I board the plane and proceed to deal with the drama of trying to sleep on a flight that's too bumpy and with rowmates that are inconsiderate and smelly. I was glad to get off that plane, but honestly, the ride was so bumpy that I was cold sweaty nauseaus for a good half of the flight and even afterwards. I still have that gotta yak vibe. Very Miyake.

We went out to Vegas to check out the Voodoo Resort which is our newest addition to the fine chain of Voodoo Maisons, Inc. A nice addition, I must add. Buff Bagwell and I were dukin' it out to see who gets what room, who gets closer to the bathroom, etc. Life is good. Mother and Father Voodoo were livin' large and were beside themselves with the new home. I'm happy for them and will be even happier when the time comes to kick it in Vegas for a weekend.

Cruising around the Strip leaves me with a few observations:

1. People who use cellphones with their headsets on and walking around looking like they're talking to themselves look frickin looney.
2. You really shouldn't drink all that much if you have issues (saw a few people fall to the ground like blubbering idiots confessing to crimes).
3. You could make a killing as a pickpocket (not from experience, mind you).
4. Walking around with a couple make me miss the company of someone in my life.
5. Either there is a part of the world that still likes 80's clothes or there was a theme day in Vegas that I wasn't made aware of.
6. Smoke is just plain bad.
7. Never treat your service people bad. Waiters, room maids, janitors, etc. They are the people that make shit happen.
8. I left my laptop at home which made me feel a whole lot freer.
9. Ever notice that there are people who seem very Disney Animatronic at the slot machines?
10. Wow! That's a LOT of cellulite!
11. The waitress chicas who dole out the drinks like methadone to the addicts look really sad underneath it all.
12. I gotta worry about white folks who are darker than me due to the sun.
13. For a lot of people going to Vegas means doing what you can't do at home. Closet hoochies go all out. Frightening.

At any rate, a short hop into the land of Sin and other fancies (ever notice how porno heavy certain ads are down there?) renders me sick with a cold and unable to indulge in any of the freakiness. Not that I wanted to anyway. Yah man sweet irony.


Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 10:44:00 PM