Am up to my ears writing out invitations for graduation. This whole ordeal took 2 trips to Papyrus, one trip to Paper Source and a whole lot of envelopes and ink.

The school was nice enough to print out invitations for us and provide us with not one but two envelopes for every invitation. This evite user however, had no clue that you use BOTH envelopes, one to mail with and one for the rsvp. What a waste of paper and postage. I mean, come on... if you're gonna rsvp, call me, pay for your own envelope and postage. Let's not kill another tree here and besides, what are free night and weekend minutes for?

As a result, my invites have no rsvp envelopes, nor rsvp cards. (Did not know you had to have one)

If I ever get married, will you please accept an evite and respond electronically?

I just cannot get my act together today and I don't know why. I woke up feeling depressed and sad and just could not put a finger on it.
Yesterday, I got all insecure about E, even though he's emailed and called but I just get this evil sense of foreboding, and my friend K says it's just a reaction from my last relationship and I'm just protecting myself. This time two years ago, I found someone else's lingerie in my laundry. I'm just all freaked out right now that I'm so freaked out about this entire incident.
GET A GRIP.
God this is ridiculous.

It's bloody ninety degrees in my office... and yes I'm still located in San Francisco. The heatwave has been unbelievable. And while most folks from other parts of the country may be baffled at our revelry in this heatwave, we, San Franciscans, are not.
Good sunshine here, you see, is hard to come by in Fog City. Hence, whenver it does, we must, simply must, bust out the bikinis, strappy sandles and pedicured toes. It's like a drug, a good drag on a cigarette when you haven't smoked in a while, or that rich chocolate ice cream when you're on the South Beach Diet.
One of the things this heat makes you do also is spend money and imagine that you can do things you otherwise will not do.
Today, I spent $30 on a manicure/ pedicure, another $35 on registration for the bay to breakers which I had vowed not to do, and may possibly spend another $350 on an iPod just to reward myself for having done the bay to breakers. I was also about to spend another $50 on a bikini I saw on this website when I had to answer an official phone call from a Professor at school.
Yes, I am rather high right now. High from the heatwave. I think I should freeze my credit cards in the freezer tonight before I bust my lines of credit.

this is the week from hell... and it needs to end right now.
So much sh*t to do.

The weather's gorgeous again and this weekend is going to be an excellent sailing weekend, I can just feel it. I've been invited to crew on a tri-maran which is a tri-hulled boat. Never crewed on one of those before and am looking forward to it. I'm so psyched that this sailing season is starting off so well. I'm booked from now til mid June with sailing activities.
One of the best things about sailing, other than the thrill of speed and the exhilartion of just being on the water, is the opportunity to meet other people. So far, I've met one CG animator who works for Pixar and was part of the crew who did Finding Nemo, one lawyer turned lingerie designer, J who I dated for a while, JM who is a geologist and collects rocks for a living but lives on a boat with her husband, NK who has promised me use of her hot tub after we go sailing together again. It's amazing how much you can share and acquaint yourself with when on deck with folks you've never met before.

I'm taking ten, ok twenty minutes out from work to write. I don't know how I got so slammed with work this week. From having like 3-5 mini-projects to complete, this week I have 9. And so far, after all morning and a little of the afternoon, I only managed to cross out 2. I have about 2 more hours left at work and the other seven look too intimidating to tackle, although I know I should/ must because it will only pile up to become big gloomy monster for tomorrow.
I'm seeing E tomorrow night and I'm excited about that even though we're prolly not going to do anything particularly exciting. Dinner and a video looks to be the order of events for the night. We did that on Saturday too, and it was a weird sense of deja vu because I went to the very same video store I used to go to two years ago with my ex. When the video guy asked for the name on the account, it was really strange saying E's name. Not strange in a bad way, strange in a deja vu way. I've done this before. I knew where to find the videos, where the comedy section was, I even found the videos I'd rented from that store before.
It's interesting how things change and how things don't change. I'm back in the very same neighborhood with a boy I like.

Have been trying to write this report for the last week or so. Not very successful with it. It's a good exercise in thought and it's a great learning experience and all, but have been plagued by a lack of motivation, procrastination and the general writer's block. In my moments of spacing out between paragraphs, I have been thinking about going to law school, what restaurant to go to for graduation, sending flowers to my mother/ grandmother for mother's day and what I wil l wear for my date tonight with E. Everything but this report. I haven't got the flow. Just haven't got it.

Last night, I made Lychee Martini as I stood in my kitchen waiting for cookies to be baked. Can't say I felt more grown up than that. Standing in my own kitchen, mixing smirnoff, lychee syrup and triple sec together, then pouring it out into my purple martini glasses. Had to refrain from making that second glass lest I show up at work hungover in the A.M.

I am so stoked today because I got tickets to the Mets and Yankees subway series on July 4th! Woohoo... NYC here I come!!!! And I get to go to NYC with good friend Jake, who also used to live in NY but lives in the bay area now, and we shall be visiting all our old food haunts in all three NYC chinatowns, namely: Manhattan, Flushing and 8th Street Brooklyn. Airplane tickets will be bought today :)

Because I had this weird bald spot on my head (which you can't see unless you make me flip my hair a weird way), which my doctor said was due to my immune system misfiring (ie: my white blood cells thought my hair was some germy bacteria), I got 4 shots of steroids in my head yesterday.
I don't know which I hyperventilated more over: the fact that I now have steroids in my head or the fact that I got four shots. Make no mistake. He took the needle, filled the syringe with some steroid (in fact I didn't even think to ask what steroid it was), flipped my hair over and stuck the needle in my head. 4 times. Breathe, he said. Well, what do you think I'm doing right now doc?
Hehe... at the end of it all though, I merely felt 4 nips. Except now I have all these steroids in my head. It's enough to make me giddy :)

That said, I have a date tonight and tomorrow night with E and J. I haven't made up my mind yet. Or, well I have sorta made up my mind, but kinda need some reinforcement to know that I made the right decision. My ex and I talked yesterday. I guess I can officially call him my ex. It took us 2 years to get here. To break up and be ok with letting the relationship go. I don't know if either of us is that ok, but it seems that we've hit such a rock wall that there's no other way to go already but to let go. I've always had this recurring dream- seeing him at my wedding, except I can't tell if he's the groom or not. Somewhere in that dream, I've felt a tinge of sadness and I could never comprehend why I was feeling that. I suppose I can now. He's not the groom. Well, one should never say never, but I feel like my ship has sailed and I'm standing at the stern waving goodbye to distant figures.