i can pass
i can pass
i can pass this fucking microecon test.

one should not have to suffer so much for a test.

It's a lousy day today. I have a test tommorrow and I'm dreading it. I also have so much work at work to do I'm seriously considering dropping a class.. or two. I think three classes is optimal, four is simply pushing it too far. More importantly though, I think I have to decide what I want to do with all these degrees. I don't know that the Ed.D is worth getting... or if that's what I want at all. I love the process of learning, but not necessarily the end result. What am I going to do with it? I don't know. Life is only so short... I don't know that I want to fill it up with all this studying and bullshit. I don't know that I want to spend this much time only to find myself at the mercy of tenure tracked positions and the shitty low wages that education pays.
I saw this bumper sticker on a door the other day and it says something like, "I relish the day the army has to organize a bake sale to raise funds for equipment"... Amen to that. How come companies get to hold galas, and balls to raise money, while we have to rely on the generosity of others just to bake cookies so we can sell it? Why don't teachers get bonuses? Why do teachers have to work two jobs just to make ends meet?
How can the most fundamental tenet of society, education that is, be valued so low monetarily speaking? No wonder we have shitty teachers. No wonder we have low test scores. No wonder no one wants to spend the money to get credentialed and to learn to teach. Why should educators have to give up high wages and a better quality of life just so others can have it?
That's just downright unfair.

Spent too much money over the weekend

Barney's New York Skirt $40, originally $108
Cute sexy red laced jeans $39.99, originally $125
Wine from Mondavi $70

Broke my original promise not to buy new clothes til december. But how could I resist? Barney's on sale!!! I actually stopped myself from buying yet another pair of shoes, and another yet another pair of khaki's from Barneys. I love Barney's. But I had to get that skirt and that red laced jeans. The jeans I'm particularly pleased with: It's like a regular pair of bell bottom jeans but not all of it is made of denim. The area where it flares out is made of lace and the lace runs up from the hem to mid thigh. It's so sexy :p Who could resist them?

Did I mention I love Barney's already?

The wine at Mondavi's was excellent. I bought a bottle of Moscato and the Oakville Cabernet Sauvignon. I might just give one of them away. My wine collection grows once again. The Moscato was bubbly and sweet and aromatic, but the Oakville was a real winner. It's dry but extremely smooth with a hint of wood. I wish I could describe it better. I suppose one has to taste it. I supposed the best way to describe it is that sensation that you've just tasted a piece of heaven... you feel that smooth finish on your tongue and the alcohol rushes to your head and the lingering aroma from the glass just takes you away from where you are at that moment... like all good wines should. It was part of Mondavi's reserve collection. I usually resist going to Mondavi cos of the crowds, but decided to this time cos they do have the prettiest grounds in Napa. I can't wait til Christmas to open this bottle.

The best part of the weekend though was spending it with two of my best girlfriends. There's nothing more cathartic than bitching and gossiping about boys... and looking at them too! Ex-boyfriends are of course the best to rap on. And just knowing, and realizing that we all go through the same highs and lows is reassuring...

I'm not a freak :p

So recently I did this Sex and the City quiz on ivillage.com. Yea, yea, I know... those quizzes say nothing and I'm contributing to the female instinct for over analyzing everything in this world. Anyway, here's what the quiz said about me:

Your answers peg you as a Carrie-type, much influenced by the Air Sign qualities associated with Gemini, Libra and Aquarius. Like confident Carrie, a sex columnist, you're curious and perceptive, always seeking answers and never satisfied with the superficial. An Air Sign influence can lead to indecision and an avoidance of tough issues, like with Carrie and her on-again, off-again attachment to Mr.Big. Forward-thinking, incredibly intelligent and witty, you just exude quirky charm. You'd be utterly bored by someone who's just a pretty face or hot body -- though you don't mind looking and flirting! You're more turned on by an equally smart and funny mate, someone who challenges your mind and makes you laugh. You love to talk, so you need a good listener who's open to playful and eccentric ideas about love and lovemaking.

If this holds true, it only means that despite 5 seasons of male torture and successive and obviously unsuccessful dating, I will eventually end up with no man!
I have to say, as with all astrological predictions and forecasting, some of it is pretty true. Yes, I have my Mr. Big, yes I'm still hung up over him.. those of you who know me are sick of listening about Big... hahaha... ok I promise not to talk about him anymore.... but that would mean an avoidance of the issue wouldn't it??? yes, yes, I'm OVER-ANALYING AGAIN! Can't help it. It's a female vice!

I like that it says I have "playful and eccentric ideas about love and lovemaking"... oohh... I had NO IDEA :P

ok.. go try it. I'm almost convinced that most people would end up being Carrie or Miranda anyway... I'll run a statitical analysis on this, so send in your results!!!!!
Here's the web page!
http://quiz.ivillage.com/astrology/tests/sexandthecity.htm

By the way, I turned out to be 40% Carrie, 30%Miranda, 20 % Charlotte, and 10% Samantha...
Shoot... I wanted so badly to be Samantha!

my best friend debbie is coming up from San Diego today. We're doing a girlfriend thingy... I asked her not to bring her husband. This will be a no boys weekend... I think... well actually come to think of it, maybe not. But we're going to Napa on Saturday and outlet shopping. No credit cards for me... I know I'll blow my limit... and then spend the next 100 years paying it off or something. I promised not to buy anymore clothes til december. What a sacrifice! I should do this during Lent... I might actually end up saving money as well.
Two students from SF state came to interview me today. Wow... they think I'm an expert in my field of college counselling and advising. I find it very very flattering, but also scary that someone will actually take my advice sometimes. I feel so old sometimes, but in terms of work, I feel like such a kid... and to have someone actually come to seek advice from me about my job... wow... maybe I do know alot :)

must be this brand new blogger enthusiasm thing... can't seem to stop blogging...
this is almost like the beginning of a new relationship... you know, like how two people can't seem to get enuff of one another when they first start dating, and they talk and talk and talk... but then after a while they lose interest.
Hopefully this will have a longer shelf life than my dates... ahahahah...

i just figured out my lagrangian equations for demand and expenditure functions... thank God... Spent like 3 hours in Cafe Flore trying to work it out. If not for the entertaining gay men in sitting next to me, I think I would have either gone to sleep on my books, or thrown it at some busboy...

yes, I get violent at times.

gotta love cafe flore... it's such a loving community... all these men hugging one another... and being so affectionate with everyone... including me, the lone woman in the cafe. Not meat market affectionate, but a welcome to the cafe affectionate... if you know what i mean. I think there's something about being gay and affectionate and being able to create that sense of community and love. Now if only we had a gay president... and Iraq too... wouldn't that be lovely?

hmm... i love the smell of new books.
Am reading catfish and mandala today. Just came in the mail yesterday. I like reading this one more than the old hardback I got from the library. Something about the smell of fresh paper and shiny new covers. Makes you feel smarter and more intelligent I think. Old books feel battered, and there isn't that urge to read them anymore.

Ok, I'm a sucker. Amazon loves me.

shitzz... just posted and lost the original post...
alright.. let's see what I remember from memory...
um... going to start posting to this site again. Been so caught up in my freudian entanglement between my id and ego that I forget that there's a world out there... Yes, my id and ego actually talk to each other... and they hold separate debates with God when I go to church on Sundays...

so what's the update on me?
I'm taking 4 f***ing classes...
Anthro of Education: which really is hermeneutics 102... what's hermeneutics you say? It's an anthropological slant that says meaning is derived from interpretation. I'm supposed to discover the meaning of life in this class.
Development Economics: to remind myself that there are starving babies I have to save in Africa and China
Graduate MicroEconomics: to make monotonic transformations so that I can save the babies in Africa and China
Math for Economists: to make lagrangian equations so I can make monotonic transformations so I can save babies in Africa and China...

I have a test on tuesday Oct 1st on monotonic transformations... maybe I'll figure it out by mon nite...