The Baby Blog

Well I have successfully completed my 10th year with Likha. The group is my second family. It's the reason I am where I am today... it kept me close to my 'moomoo, even when I didn't want it that way. It has taken me to different countries to share my culture with other people. It has kept me connected to my culture. It has kept me on stage, under the colorful lights, in beautiful costumes, dancing to awesomely played music. Thank you, Kuya Rudi for the opportunities. I LOVE being on stage.

This year I connected with Bayanihan in a way because I know that I am NOT that far behind in being a "guest artist" because someday soon, I will have to admit to myself that "I am just too damn old for this". Okay, not too soon though, I think I still some life in me left... at least long enough to get Damoomoo back on stage.

We really pulled this show together ---- WAY LAST MINUTE! But we pulled it off... yes, there were some mistakes here and there, but it comes with the territory. Our newbies are now "de-virginized" rookies...now we gotta work up the "diva-ness" in time for next year! I don't know but for some reason I was hella feeling my evening performance of Gansa Pattung (I figured no solo this year, might as well make the best of what I got, right)! Most of all, I actually had my own little audience of co-workers, family, and friends (thanks girls from coming out to watch for nth time! It really meant a lot!)

I am looking forward to slowing down for the rest of year... small side gigs here and there, but it's not every week and no more addditional practices. This past weekend just sucked every last bit of energy I had... I was sore (probably from walking up and down those darn flights of stairs to the dressing room) all day Sunday, and still felt a little "weak in the knees" yesterday.

Now maybe I can use my energy into cleaning the house for the cast party this weekend, and getting some work done!!!

On Monday I picked up AJ from school, like normal... then one of the teachers said:
Earlier today AJ broke down in tears talking about your accident.

Before we walked out the door she encouraged AJ to tell mommy what was making him so scared. While we were in the car (Mio was home sick), I asked him to share with me what he was scared of...

He began crying, and said, I am scared of mommy crashing! I don't want you to crash. I'm scared because of the guns...that was all I could get out of him, but surely was enough to know that I needed to help my baby.

I quickly blamed myself for letting him hear me tell the story of the accident, and most of all, how it was part of a police chase and arrest. I felt tears roll down my face as I drove home. I didn't realize that even though he wasn't in the car when it happened (and I thank God everyday for that blessing), he is still frightened by the accident.

Could he be just as scared about riding in the car as I am? I even asked Damoomoo to change the way he drives, but apparently to no avail... in fact I think I walked away even more angry (that lasted a couple days)...

AJ's reaction is not something I am willing to take lightly or compromise... I am signing us ALL up for a family counseling session, which is a free resource from my work! I think it might be good for me as well... cuz I could still feel myself fearing the freeway, my car, and other cars driving around me. I might actually use that same resource for a free law consultation!

Today, the parking lots were full, the halls were crowded with students, and people roaming around everywhere... It is the first day of a new academic year! It was also the first day of school for AJ (Kindergarten) and Mio (Monstessori Pre-school). I was really afraid of the "morning struggles" I would have to face with the boys... but it wasn't all that bad. I think the hardest thing for me, was waking myself up this morning!

After my shower/brushing my teeth, I turned on the tv in the boys room and did the "start to wake up" phase... aka don't have to be physically awake, but start to...like putting an alarm on snooze. AJ helped a little in encouraging Mio to wake up, "it's the first day of school!".

I finished getting myself ready, and then returned for the "active wake up" call, which was timed perfectly with daddy, who just finished making lunch, so they could ready at the same time. AJ was very cooperative: brushed his teeth and got dressed... Mio, well he was quite hesitant, but not as stubborn as could be. The whole ride to school Mio just repeatedly complained, "I don't wanna go to school. I want to play games. I want to go to fix flags Marine World".

But sure enough as we approached the Early Learning Center, and their classroom... they found their cubbies, hung their jackets, and found their name tags... (very proud of having new ones this year), they were off. Mio immediately asks his teacher, "Do you have games?".

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to YOU!

My hubby, my best friend...

It was great to make last minute plans, find a babysitter, rent a HUGE truck, and just go to Tahoe to watch Wayne Brady perform! The show was hilarious, done in the "Whose Line Is It Anyway" improv style. And then to spend some time in the casino... I won a little ($200), and you lost a little, but it was all in FUN...

We celebrated with a few close friends... but most of all, it was great to see you enjoy yourself!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, my love!

Today was my first day back. I was welcomed by many co-workers (some who didn't know about the accident) and given a lot of "motherly love" from my office-mates. It is hard to be back... kind of fearing that first real commute back home. In talking to a co-worker, I realized that this took a real toll on me physically and mentally.

I am sure that Damoomoo is already sick of me complaining of all my aches and pains, but this has put a strain in a lot of other things. Our bed was too uncomfortable for me to sleep, plus it was harder to ask for things like water and food, so I opted to stay on the couch for the most part. Which I am sure left Damoomoo pretty uncomfortable. So "thank you" for sticking this out with me!

We are also down one car for at least 3 weeks! This will make it especially hard because the boys start school on Thursday, and we don't live that close to work/school. So, I'll be back behind the wheel of the van (which I am not so comfortable driving in the first place!)

Now physically, I am feeling some strains and aches in shoulders and back, but I can move my neck around. Have some physical therapy ahead of me... My PT said that my reflexes on my right side are a bit dull compared to the right. I think I'm going to have bruises where he was hitting me with that red rubber hammer!

Mentally, it is still haunting me... seeing the events over and over in my head... and hopefully writing will be just the right therapy for me...

Did you know that I was hit by a car my Junior year in High School while crossing the street? And to this day I am still fearful/hesitant to cross the street!

Today, 1 week after the accident, I found myself driving again. For me, the scaredy cat that I am, it was REALLY difficult. I got nervous at the sight of any car looking as if they were crossing my lane.

On our way home, I hear a car screech as the driver stepped on his brakes. My heart stopped... and then I could feel my heart beating twice as fast as normal... Being a passenger and a driver is just so nerve racking for me...

I start physical therapy on Monday... feeling residual effects from back and neck injuries caused by the accident. I have what feels like "pinched nerves" making it seem as if my whole shoulder area on both sides fell asleep, giving me that numbing feeling.

Recovery is happening slowly but surely, but we will have to wait and see how long it will take for me to trust other drivers on the road again!

On Thursday night Damoomoo called and asked to meet him and the kids in Hercules. He called saying that he was still waiting, so I stayed at work a little longer than normal (only 30 min later)

My commute was normal for the summer as I got onto the freeway then in a matter of minutes it all changed:

Looking in my rearview mirror I see a car spin out of control. Keeping my eye on it to ensure that it doesn't hit me in the chaos. The car gained control coming to a stop on my side of the freeway (the slow lane of course). I look back again and see sirens "to aid the driver". I look at the car, and it starts to accelerate!!

I'm thinking, "This guy is CRAZY! Let me get out of his way... I was next to the on ramp crossing his path, so I decide to move one lane over to give him room to pass him on either side. And then it happened...

The bastard hit my car!!! I jerked forward, luckily not hitting the steering wheel. I looked to my left and he hit a pick-up truck. And I see the truck still moving forward towards me! I moved as much as I could, as fast as I could to avoid another collision! The three cars came to a stop forming a triangle... I looked across the freeway...

One guy runs out, jumps the center divide and I lose sight him as he crosses the westbound freeway. The cops arrive with their shotguns pulled out, "Don't move, or we'll shoot you in the back!" They ask about guns, and do what they need to do..

At this point I just want to duck and cover, staying away from any possible gunfire...and I'm thinking, "wow, that's a lot of cops for an out of control car!"...

I finally get an opportunity to move the ass of my car out of the other lanes, to allow for some traffic to pass. But the damage was done. I tried calling 911 but got the spanish speaking version, so I hung up but noticed that there were more cops on the scene anyways. So I called damoomoo...

Me: Honey I got hit. Someone hit me
D: What?! Where are you?
My glasses got knocked off so I couldn't even see where I was exactly. I just know I was under the overpass.
Me: I'm on the freeway, I don't know where. Just come now!

As I sat there the events finally sunk in, "Thank God, my kids were not in my car, as they normally would. to the driver... you F*@#ing Bastard... my kids could have been in my car, right where you hit me! As the firemen and tow druck drivers get to me, I lost control, and just started crying... I apogolized and just told them that it's just the shock. I can begin to feel the stiff neck. Just at the mention of neck pains they treated me like I had spinal injury, neck brace and all.

I finally get a blanket, find my glasses, and as they take me into the ambulance I get to see the car... He hit me from the rear passenger side knocking of the body kit, wheel out of alignment. And off to the hospital, where Nurse Ledge was there waiting. Damoomoo called with a heads up letting him know that we were going to his work!

I was released with no major damage. Just a really bad stiff neck and shoulders, which is getting worse before it's getting better. Thank goodness for medication!

They did arrest 2 young men, who were, just moments before the freeway collision, were shooting at another vehichle when the police chase began! They found the 2nd guy who jumped the freeway in someone's backyard!

We will find out if the car will be fixed or totaled. As for me... I am sitting/lying down quite uncomfortably with a makeshift neckbrace to support my neck. So here I am, and that's my story! Thank you for those who have called with supportive words.. for those I haven't talked to... I am okay.. but it still gives me "nightmares".