The Big Aiyah

I wrote this two days ago...

Manila, Philippines: circa 1983. He often stumbled home at ungodly hours from the nightclub
smelling of alcohol and what my mother claimed were other women's perfume. Marraige nor fatherhood hadn't changed my father's lifestyle, he loved to be out night after night with his friends. He was probably more at home inside the smoky V.I.P. section of a nightclub than our own living room. Truth be told, there were times when I thought my mother had given up on him, but bless her heart, she did not. Poppa was a rolling stone and I don’t think he ever really changed. I believe he was a great father but I don't think he was the greatest husband. He had a loving wife and two children who adored him but it wasn’t enough. He was a man who had a void in him that could only be filled by the company of friends who shared his vices. It seems that he was incapable of attaining peace, his wanderlust that should have burned out as a young man had not subsided. He was there but he wasn’t there… he was charming and endearing yet he was detached. No doubt, he had made choices that contributed to his restlessness. When I became of age, I almost felt sorry for the man if I wasn’t so busy idolizing him.

I’m currently neck deep in that same wanderlust that my father experienced and I’m becoming very conscious of the fact that I’m more like him than what appears in the mirror. As of right now, I feel lost and even though I’m in the company of those whom I share affection, I sometimes feel detached and in search of something deeper to anchor me. Most times I simply float away. Somewhere along the line, I might be married with kids and in love but the possibility remains that I might walk inside the same maze from which my father had never escaped. It’s a daunting possibility that I might never escape either, but I can only find out one day at a time. Also, wherever he is, I like to think that he knows exactly what I’m going through and he would love nothing more than to see his boy succeed where he had not. He would have been 61 today.

posted by Boy Wonder @ 11:40 PM

So imagine driving down Sunset Boulevard at about 11:30 at night...the Hawaiian music jammin', you're feeling pretty good after a great gig and you're looking forward to hitting the sack from the exhaustion of performing. You look to the left out your driver-side window and the guy in the car beside you flashes a kool shaka sign...the inspiration probably taken from my many aloha and Hawaii stickers on my car.

Then, we hit a red light and I hear this "Hey...roll down your window...let me talk to you a sec'".

Now let's get my state of mind at THIS particular point clear...I'm in the state of "Aloha" ecstasy, you know...good vibes all the way around. So, I figure "Sure!" I'll roll down my window!

WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING!!!!!!! OR RATHER WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING?

From the moment he opened his mouth, I wished I had just never noticed that "shaka" sign. His line went like this, "Hey, where ya going? (peering into my car) Who else do you have in there? (handing me some scandalous party flyer) Can I hit that? ("Hit what?" I asked myself) Can I get some? ("NO, he NOT just bring this whole evening into the gutter in one fraction of a second?" I told myself.) Can I hit it raw? (he asked again)". Which at that moment, I was completely appalled and no where near my wonderful "state of "Aloha" and back into the reality of being surrounded by idiots. I rolled up my window as I flipped them off and drove away as the light turned green.

I still can't believe that shit happened!

Now its really sad to think that these guys would think they would actually get some decent "play" talking to women that way. I just couldn't believe I let my guard down so easily that I actually chose to roll down my window and subject myself to... Arrrrggghhh... Idiots!

posted by Ukulele Princess @ 6:43 PM

War: The Weapon of Mass Seduction

The more and more I think about war, I think about the differences between two disparate groups of people. Iraq and the US. Like men and women.

So we can either go to the UN for a debate on this matter, but I really do think that men and women are similar in many ways, but as nature would dictate, and I am inclined to think that we like to fall back on it as an excuse, we just do the same thing in different ways.

SO my question is this: in what ways are men and women SIMILAR.

Good luck.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 4:37 PM

Work is kicking my ass so I decided to take a 30 minute hiatus and blog right quick. (You know it's busy if I come in before 8AM - I didn't have my first cup of coffee until 9:30!)

I should have blogged about this Saturday night in the heat of the moment, but now that I've calm down and the magnitude of my fury has dropped a few decibels.

disclaimer: I don't mean to offend/slander anyone in anyway, shape or form. This is just what I'm feeling ....well, at least the remnants of what I felt Friday night. On with the Wrath of Squeak...

So I'm gonna title this:
GET YOUR OWN GODDAMN F*CKIN' ROOM!!!!!

::deep breath::

I think I've mentioned in past blogs that last year, Valentine's Day - I went up and spent a few nights with a couple and we shared a room in Harrahs. We had so much fun and I never felt like a third wheel. They made me feel so welcomed and part of the crew....They made me forget I was up there Valentine's day with a couple. This past Friday night was the quite the opposite....extreme opposite.

I've learned a new theory. There are couples to hang out with and couples that you just can't, and you should be arrested if you do. I should be in prison right now. I learned my lesson the hard way this weekend, I doubt I'll ever hang out with this particular couple alone AGAIN (they aren't a couple YET). I would never ever want anyone to feel uncomfortable the way I did Friday night.

So why all this anger? Well, let me set up the scenario. I'll spare all the gory details, just the hot buttons.
Friday was a gorgeous day at Sierra - a crew of us went up to snowboard. Mind you, this couple had tremendous amount of high school PDA the entire day. You don't even want to know how many times I rolled my eyes.

here's the Chorus:
Kissy kissy
huggy huggy
smooch smooch smooch
hug hug hug
kissy kissy
Repeat Chorus


::rolls_eyes::

It was so annoying. You'd swear we're in high school. When two of my homies left after boarding to head back to the bay, I told them to wish me luck tonight, as I may need it. I sure did.

So the 3 of us (yes, the couple and I) headed off to the Southshore, (mind you, I drove) and we checked into a room at a motel close to the casinos. We settled in and hung out in the room to relax.

Repeat Chorus

Then we went to dinner which was cool. But we headed back and decided to call it a night and settled back into our beds.

We decided to go to sleep, the lights off, television left on.

Repeat Chorus
Add rustling around in sheets to that particular chorus.

With my back turned to them, I grabbed a pillow and put it over my ears all with quick, annoyed movements. I can still hear all the smooching going on. Then I hear,

"Squeak, is the TV bothering you?"
"No!!" I said all pissy...I thought I made it obvious. I guess not.

Repeat Chorus

I couldn't frickin sleep for the life of me, so a few ideas crossed my mind:
1. Try hard to sleep and keep cool
2. Run over to the lobby and get my own room, but I thought that's not for me to do
3. Kick them out?
4. Be a drama queen and yell "WTF?!?!? DO YOU GUYS MIND?"
5. Run out to the casino, but I didn't want to come back to room that smelled of sex

What did Squeak end up doing?
May be I should have put my makeup on cuz that way I would have had more options (i.e casino et.al). But, I jumped out of bed, into the bathroom, grabbed my cell phone from the charger (mind you I had all of two bars), put a sweatshirt on, socks and shoes, grabbed my purse and car keys and got the f*ck out of there. To where, I had no idea - it didn't help that I had no makeup and I was braless. eek!

Yeah, I pulled a drama queen, but I'd rather call it anger management.

I ended up at Denny's for 2.5 hours with several cups of decaf coffee. I looked pathetic. I never felt so disrespected, so uncomfortable. It was almost humiliating. I couldn't help but think that they were probably glad I took off, leaving the room to themselves. Afterall, I'm just a nuisance and a ride home. I called my homeboy all teary eyed to calm me down. (It takes a lot to make Squeak cry!) I thank god he was there for me at the time with his wise words and comforting voice. Those two battery bars were spent well.

Suffice to say, we talked it out in the morning, but I have to admit to this day I have bad taste in my mouth. Forgiven? Forgotten? Forgiveness will come in time, but I won't forget cuz these scars are deep.

As we headed home from Tahoe, I bought cigarettes at the gas station and looked over to where they were...standing between the fuel pumps, kissing.....

posted by piaadoll @ 11:33 AM

So call me lazy.
Call me un-romantic.
You can even call me a puss. But, please remember that I was WASTED.

So, a friend calls up asking what happened to the girl I met last Saturday, that she thought resembled Kristin Kreuk.
Me: I gave her my card.
K: That's weak, white elephant! Did you even ask for her number?
Me: No. I thought it would be easier to give her my card instead. (The realization just hit that she ain't gonna be calling. Doh! Bye, bye Lana Lang)
K: So, other than her thinking your weak, she now thinks you're not that interested, despite the funny and flirtatious conversation you guys had. I was there she was diggin' you.
Me: I know, I'm so adorable when I'm f***ed-up. But, if she was diggin' me as you said, she'll call right?
K: First of all you're an ass when your drunk. And you must not know women, she ain't calling.
Me: If she's interested she'll call.
K: If she was interested, but thinks you're not due to you giving your card, instead of asking for her info; she won't risk the possibility of a non-response or flat-out rejection.
Me: That doesn't make any sense. If you like somebody wouldn't you want to hook up?
K: Women want to be courted, no matter how contemporary they think they are. And no woman will ever put herself into a position of getting rejected/embarrased it takes alot of of us emotionally.
Me: I get rejected all the time, aint no thang.
K: Women aren't used to getting rejected; especially around here. So, Kristin Kreuk will not be calling you in distress.
Me: So, the f***ing moral of the weekend is; a number in the hand is worth more than 2 b.cards in the bush.
K: Nnnnnot necessarily.
Me: Aiyah!

posted by evil rat @ 4:42 PM

Ok...talk about 6 degrees of separation...

My Aunt Aloha was on a plane ride back home from Hawaii at the end of January and told me that she met the perfect guy for me. He sat in the seat next to her the whole way back and realized that he's single, I'm single, he likes music, I like music, he's my age, I'm my...you get the picture.

So anyhow, she's been trying to figure out ways for the two of us to meet so it's not so obvious although she's already told the both of us about each other. All those times just never panned out.

Then, last week, Uncle Aloha sends me an email asking me if I'm going to this anniversary party at this restaurant. Now this seemed a little strange since the restaurant is here in the city, Auntie and Uncle Aloha live in San Jose, and they've only been to this restaurant once for one of my gigs! Nevertheless, I said nothing... hey it could happen.

Then Friday when I saw Auntie and Uncle Aloha at hula that I didn't even get that invite AND I hang out with those people at the restaurant. So I asked Uncle how he found out about the little shindig. He said that the guy they've been trying to play matchmaker with me sent them an email.

Oh man!!! The alarms sounded in my head! I think I possibly could have already met this mystery-man and not even known it!!! What a small world it could be!!!! (Sometimes a little eeery if you ask me.)

So this past Monday (oh just yesterday) I stop by the restaurant where I know everyone hangs out to see if I would "randomly" bump into my mystery-man. I enter the restaurant inconspicuously and take a look around. Everyone is mingling and having a good time. I spy a guy, the only one that could even possibly fit into the description.....

Nope, never saw him before...but could it be him I wondered?

I milled around a bit talking to people I knew there trying to figure out how to approach him to find out without sounding so cheesy. I felt so silly because it turned out to not be the mystery-man. But, I did introduce myself to a fellow ukulele player so all was not lost.

But man...what a small world! Perhaps I'll drop by again on another inconspicuous Monday!

posted by Ukulele Princess @ 5:01 PM