The Big Aiyah: 10/01/2002

someone told me that i should take ritalin for my short attention span in relationships and dates

i take that as a compliment...

I've used up about 70 IKEA tealights in the past ten days...

There's a foreign bottle of conditioner in my corner of the bathroom...

My laptop docking station is inhabited by a new Sony Vaio...

There are two toothbrushes in my cup...

I bought two 3-piece meals at KFC and only ate one...

Toilet paper is running out faster than ever...

Hepp me jebus.

I twisted my ankle...

I can see myself hobbling to the castro tonight...

Great.. a hobbling hippie... how original

OK...where are the other Big Aiyah teammates???

Don't let squeak be the Big Aiyah posting hog!!

Ladies and gents.

What's your brand of contraception?

Quick post before I hit the shower...

Don't mind me...I'm inspired by the guys of "boys night out." My horns just grew out of my head...and I'm just in that state of mind....

It's been awhile since I've had a target....I mean, I haven't looked at a guy like a piece of meat in a looooooooooong time and think to myself "I'll do him one day....Just watch."

I think I'm in dire need of a challenge or a squeaky bed....or rather, I just need some Target Practice.

OH my! Can't believe I'm posting this and I'm SOBER...heh heh

If I invest in a bigger bed and still don't get any action.....AIYAH!
I think I'll stay in my TWIN BED unless I know it's a "sure shot" ..heh heh

So there's mine...a bit a girly for such a tomboy like me...
But totally "squeak-ish"

Put a magnifying glass and you'll find the following:
a. lots of pink piggies
b. booboo my stuffed samoyed
c. lithograph of samoyed puppies
d. snowboard (my virgin ride fuel 148)
e. picture of flowers
f. babyhatch as my computer wallpaper

All I need is a glass of ketel and cran chillin by the computer.....but I gave up drinking solo....for the meantime.....

Take II
Decided to switch my giant dildo for a snowboard that compliments my room....heh heh..

All I need now is McDonald's french fries...

Where the Action Is(n't)

Gyeah! Here it is, without any fanfare, a picture of the boy wonder's bed... no camera flash for artistic purposes and no bed-making because I'm lazy. It's pretty wide bed and a bit high up off the ground so I get a bit weirded out sometimes but I am slowly getting used to it. That mattress is off the hook, its extra firm and it's got a pillowtop thingy.... I think I paid too much for it but hey... it's too late now. The rest of the room is still bare, I have a couple of Diego Rivera prints on the wall. Hope, you all like it! BW

The Bed that Sees Action

Okay that's it. I want pics of your bed. Whether that is a digi pic or a pencil drawn pic, I want it posted HERE on AIYAH. Or link one from some web page that best describes your love nest that is, by all accounts, not seeing any action.

We will have a contest...winner will get some of that wonderful ahi poke and his/her favorite beer at the Hukilau. YOU HAVE UNTIL 11/2/02 to submit your love nest to me! Thanks.

I dare you.
Voodoo

Mooncake Halloween House Party
This Saturday!
October 26th in SF.

Costumes Optional! Bring the booze and some food and friends you want to pimp out! We'll provide the rest... condoms included.

Check your emails!

Welcome.

Love HQ.

It's 4am and I'm almost completely faded. Got home from Amnesia 2 hours ago and am fucking pissed at my friend. Actually I was pissed at him the whole day because he stood me up yesterday without even calling. And I called and left him a message too on friday night. Today we hung out with a bunch of other people and no acknowledgement whatsoever about the phone call and what was supposed to happen last night. Later that evening, he brings some chick with him to the Amnesia and starts flirting with her.

Yea, this was mr. no sparks guy i blogged about a few weeks ago.
I thought that was really disrespectful considering we hang out in the same social circle.

Fuck that.

So I asked a cute 21 year old at Amnesia to dance... j

Came home with a number.
Mr. No sparks is off the list.

In my countless days of single-hood, I must say that I have learned to be more independent. I do believe that Byonce Knowles (sp?) said it best..."The shoes on my feet, I bought it. The house I live in, I bought it. The car I'm drivin, I bought it.I depend on me if I want it"
Damn straight.

I see my friends in relationships. And to tell you all the truth I definitely have my moments when I'm jealous. I wouldn't mind having someone to hang my leg on while sitting on the couch watching Friends. But that's what they are: moments.

There is so much I still do not know about myself. So much I have to realize and accept. With this recognition comes variations of independence, which in turn has made dating a bit easier. But still no one I want to learn with. I'm okay with that.

Since I’m a newly minted born-again soloist, I’m still struggling to discern personally profound beliefs about myself, from fleeting notion fueled by either by euphoria or boredom. I continually question and challenge myself, with the thoughts and emotions that pop up and linger a little longer than usual.
Initially, my first reaction to Voodoo Child’s request was to follow Mooncake’s style and craft a list of the things I’ve learned. But who wants to read such a list? I know I don’t want to list the things that I think have learned, only to question the very ideas that 30 minutes ago I was adamant about. So I apologize in advance if this single “lesson learned” sounds trite, trivial, or just plain absurd. (I know I don’t have to apologize, but I’m actually “learning” to forgiving myself for the stuff that pops in my head).

I’ve learned that by being single, I’m more confident that I’m one step closer to…..
* experiencing again the pure elation of having a crush
* realizing who the hell am I and what makes me tick
* finding out what I’m supposed to do
* discovering the one I’m supposed to and need to be with

By the way, if anyone knows where I can buy, “Get sprung for Dummies” let me know.

Things I Learned.

She'll let you in her house
If you come knockin' late at night
She'll let you in her mouth if the
Words you say are right
If you pay the price
She'll let you deep inside
But there's a secret garden she hides - Bruce Springsteen "Secret Garden"

I've learned that I have to fight the impulse to keep my guard up. I've learned that I have to share some parts of myself with her that I'm not proud of and I have to accept the same things about her that aren't so pretty either. I've learned that it's not always her loss, sometimes it's mine. I've learned that I've been closing myself off and I've been running away from the same things that I swear I can never find. I've learned that confidence is more attractive than physical beauty. I've learned that a spark can't be manufactured. I've learned that I have WAY MORE to learn. =)

Things I've learned since I've been Single

1. That I can date all the cute boys in my class without feeling guilty
2. That you must at all times have a backup
3. That I am my #1 backup... ie: my hobbies, my work, my girlfriends
4. Of course #2 is always that cute boy you always wanted to date
5. To pity all the coupled/ married people because they have no more choices
6. Choice is better than no choice
7. Stability is overrated
8. Stability is underrated
9. I can't decide if I want stability
10. I want to move to a pareto superior position, not inferior, not neutral. ie: I'd better be better off in all ways if I am going to give up my singlehood for some guy.

And today's most important lesson:
If you have World Series tix, you should just go and forget the Boyfriend/ Girlfriend who cannot!!! Take it from me, the woman who had tix to the subway series in 2000, but did not go because BF was being an ass and wanted to be coddled. arrrggghhhhhh......

oh no squeak is faded...

I can't blog on my site, so I'll blog on this one. I'll really try to keep my grammar and typing skills in tact....really.

So, I guess I'll be the first to bite the bullet, yo.

What did I learn about myself? I learned to be honest to myself.
I know what I want...and you can't have everything and so I'm willing to make amends....I learned that I'm a bit hesitant about the relationship thing. Am I really ready?? Can I really give up this life of singlehood? I mean, this is the longest I've EVER been single. I can't decide if I really want a realtionship. You know? I don't want to waste anyone's precious time. I used to think I'm a commitment phobe. But I reallize..I'll just know. I'll know WHEN I want to be with that certain someone. I'll know when he'll engulf me.

And one day, everything is just going to click....it's gonna be "effortless"

Until then, I'll be mad pimpin...HAHAHAHA YEAH RIGHT....until then, I'll be in my twin bed.

:)

Goodnight! I'm sure to elaborate later on.....

If I remember what I typed.

A Question for the Studio Audience

Hello folks, I'd like to pose a question to our panelists from the Big Aiyah...

What has been the one thing (or things, as the case may be) that you have learned about yourself since you've been single for X amount of months/days/years?

Be explicit. We like explicit. Staff members post on a separate posting; viewers only on the comments, thanks.

Voodoo

Hey all in the Big Aiyah family!
I think there is a reason why the Voodoo Child has bestowed upon me the name of Basket Case. It must be because I attract drama from left to right! My personal favorite being men who have girlfriends, but happen to leave that part out of the "getting to know you stage" Or what has recently turned into my personal hell---> the married man. Seriously, how the hell do you leave that out? I REALLY thought i found a guy who had his stuff together, had a job AND was funny. But then BAAAM!!!! What a jerk. Whatever. Back to the drawing board.

testing

Greetings Aiyah family!

I've been checkin' out Aiyah for several weeks now, and Voodoo Child has graciously invited me, White Elephant, to join your quorum. I think the most comfortable way to introduce myself and get you to know me is to begin by filing out the back of my Aiyah playing card.

White Elephant
Single since:September 2002
Describe yourself in 20 words or less:SAM I am. I love KFC and Spam. Thought I had the plan, now; now what?
Choice quote:"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary.

If you ever, ever think being single, unmarried and female is a bad thing, check this out. Makes you feel HELLA better that you don't have a husband to deal with.

http://pickupyourowndamnsocks.com/
This is a weblog for excessive whining from wives and girlfriends.

here is an excerpt:
My husband puts his socks on in the morning and throws them off when he gets home from work, just like anyone else. Then, he gets ANOTHER pair of socks from the dresser and puts those on. He does not have sweaty feet, nor does he have horrible foot odor. Why does he need a fresh pair of socks? Why will he repeat the process several times a night? Do the socks go bad? Do they loose that snug, fresh from the dryer feeling? And why does he then complain every 2 months about how he needs new socks because all of his have holes in them?

I toast to the sanctity of marriage and to the wonders of singlehood. Thank you God!

so i'm dating a really cute guy now.
Nothing serious just dating. He's nice, honest, super smart, calls when he says he will, kisses me before he leaves, opens doors, loves to hang out with my friends etc etc...

But the spark machine isn't quite producing the volume I want it to produce. Not that there aren't sparks, or weren't sparks. There are...

but it ain't fireworks.

not like the way I had it with the ex... but that was a rollercoaster ride that went way wayy high and then dropped wayyy wayyy low. That was not good.

I should aim for stability, I told myself.
I got stability. But it leaves me wondering...
hmmmmm......

i think i'm addicted to drama

Oh my! Did I really write that "Triggered" blog????

Whoah. I must be psychotic or something. I must take some anger management classes. But I think I'll take bartending school instead. May be I can intern at Hukilau?

Personnel Change

I've added Basket Case to our wonderful Big Aiyah Team. Welcome her and look for the bios to appear soon. An introduction to follow.

Voodoo

Am looking at the sidebar and realizing that I've been single since... erm, the last century.
arrgghh!!! no wonder i'm first on the list.
Award for being on the being on the singles shelf for the longest time.

match.com anyone?

Triggered....

I wrote a few days ago how when I get "triggered," it usually lasts a good 10 seconds. But ho dayam, my horns won't retract. Dammit. I'm pushing them inside my head as if you're pushing your car antenna down, but it won't budge...

So anyways...if anyone was out there driving 101 S near the airport around 5:45..I'm saying sorry now. ::raiseshand:: I was that crazy a*s silver hatchback weaving..I must have cut you off...so sowwy.. ::rollseyes::

One sentence just ruined my flow today. Thank goodness it was towards the end of the day....

What went through my head as I was flying through 101:
The four stages...denial, bargainning, anger, acceptance. I'm stuck at anger and beware my wrath. I was thinking, I don't think I care to salvage the friendship anymore. It's not up to me to salvage....since I was the one who was hurt, right??? Is it really worth it? ::rollseyes:: Uuurgh...No....I don't think so...

And to think I was in such a good mood earlier. I found that the cabin for my Tahoe trip is free the days I want to go, so I sent a note asking to reserve the place. Then I thought about my evite list....(btw my BRL colleagues - you guys are invited as well)..I'm one to invite one and all....then I got stuck on one name....asking myself "Should I?"

F*ck....This is my party and I'll cry if I wan't to....and I don't plan on shedding any tears.....

allergic to drama,
*mwuah*

Random thought:

I got talked into doing sometype of elimidate dealio....me and 4 dudes.......ETA: December....

I wonder how that's gonna go....

I'm skurrrrrrrrred....

quick words of advice: USE YOUR CONDOMS BEFORE THEY EXPIRE.
especially, when they're flavored!

"Out of sight, out of mind...."

I'd be lying if I said I'm over this whole thing. May be I'm just a good actress or something, cuz I honestly think I put up a really good front like everything is cool, all normal and hunky dory ... to an extent that is. But I noticed that certain things can trigger me off like a phrase or a mention of a certain someone. Give me half a second, and my horns would grow out of my head, followed by some snide remark that just stings. "Ouch" I find myself having to cover my mouth and say "Oops, didn't mean for that to slip out." Ten seconds later, I'm back to normal - happy, friendly as can be, without a hint of evil in me.....Suffice to say, I always have to mention "Don't get me started" before my horns actually retract. Then everything is back to normal again. All goody. I mean, I'm almost over it. But sometimes, things, names, etc. seem to push me over the edge..

But I have to admit, I don't dwell on it (unless I'm triggered). May be it's cuz the whole thing is "out of sight and out of mind." The true test to see if I'm really over this whole mess, is if it's straight up in my face and I'm all cool with it...completely. I have to admit that isn't an option at the moment.....

On a better note, here's to future BRL gatherings ::cheers::

Lord knows how much this blog has helped speed up the recovery process... Thanks guys!

*mwuah*

Personnel Changes

Hey wassup...I've made some cuts to the team. Say goodbye to Mista J, Pork Honey (ahh we miss you so), and Drunken Masta due to a lack of posting. Sorry guys! I've added the White Elephant. Introduction to follow shortly.

Laters,
Voodoo

Got this in an email, and think it'ts fabulous to anyone opposed to sex, pre-marital or otherwise.

10 Reasons to Have Sex
1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone oestrogen,which make hair shiny and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM. (really now?)

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

i hate the A's so
GOOOOOOOOo TWINS!

I love the yankees! GOOOOoooOOOOOOOOO YANKEEEEEES!!!!!!!!!!

I love october

The Big Aiyah

Thursday, October 31, 2002

Monday, October 28, 2002

Thursday, October 24, 2002

Wednesday, October 23, 2002

Tuesday, October 22, 2002

Monday, October 21, 2002

Sunday, October 20, 2002

Friday, October 18, 2002

Thursday, October 17, 2002

Wednesday, October 16, 2002

Monday, October 14, 2002

Saturday, October 12, 2002

Friday, October 11, 2002

Wednesday, October 09, 2002

Tuesday, October 08, 2002

Monday, October 07, 2002

Friday, October 04, 2002

Wednesday, October 02, 2002

Tuesday, October 01, 2002

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