The Big Aiyah

Baseball did not strike. I'm so happy.

By the way, I have 3 extra tickets for the Giants vs. Dodgers game on 9/11 at PacBell Park (thanks Bob). What to do with all these tickets... any suggestions?

posted by lester @ 10:16 AM

I went out for a spontaneous dinner the other night and I found myself opening up to the least expected person. There I was, teary eyed in the middle of a restaurant, trying to hold them back, with that dayam lump in my throat....

I couldn't hold it back for the life of me...Like holding back your vomit after 10 drinks and a bumpy car ride home with your eyes closed. (Closing your eyes in the car ride home while intoxicated can be extremely dangerous..Many a freeway knows that about me...heh heh)

In general, I should listen to all the unsolicited advice I've been getting. I've been a magnet for them.....

"Move on...."
"I hate seeing you like this.."
"PIAA, it's sooooo obvious...."
"He just doesn't know......"
"You're just wasting your time..."
"Why put yourself through all that....."

I must've been in denial or something...I didn't know I was exuding an image of pain or hurt....cuz I swear everything was "all goody" as I like to say....I thought I was OK....

It was the little things that kept me going...the little gestures....the little things that mean a lot.....any sign of care....

Guess I should stop all this denial and face the truth....

I'm usually a hard headed aries. Stick things through...Take sh*t with a smile....I've never been one to take into consideration what other people think....but apparently, there's a general consensus.....and they've all been discouraging....I'm sure those who gave me their 2 cents just have good intentions and want what's best for me....

Now, with that off my chest......better blogs to come.....it's a new era....

*wink*

posted by piaadoll @ 10:05 PM

Things you shouldn't have said to me

"I don't like thongs. I mean, who cares if people see your underwear line"
"You have to stop calling me, my parents are getting suspicious"
"I'm late"
"I'd say there's a 99 percent chance I wouldn't cheat on you"
"I don't like hip hop"
"It would be hot if you got your dick pierced"

posted by lester @ 4:37 PM

I used to think it was better to be interested in someone than not..

I remember telling one of my homeboys who was confiding in me about this one girl he was feeling, but wasn't sure if she was feeling him...
"I think it's better to be interested/attracted to someone than have no prospects at all..."

I'm in a mood.... where I beg to differ and just want to take back what I said...btw..beware of PIAA when she's in "a mood"

posted by piaadoll @ 11:56 PM

Q: How many drinks should a guy drink at a party?

A: Enough to make out with 3 of his girlfriends on the dance floor without being hungover the next day.

posted by lester @ 11:42 AM

Unlike PIAA, it was Char's bad for taking so long to invite me. Cold feet Miss Voodoo? ;) I'm just kidding my nigga Pharrell.

I'm here because I'm single. True single. I'm not talking about fake single.

Fake Single = "my ex is coming over for dinner later"
True Single = "maruchan nigga. maruchan."

Fake Single = "I can't go out tonight"
True Single = *pops the collar* "You don't have to call... It's okay grrrrrllll..."

Fake Single has a box of condoms sitting in his nightstand "just in case"
True Single has a box of condoms sitting 15 feet from his bed "for the memories"

Fake Single has no money.
True Single has no money but is still fly.

So I'm unattached. I guess I could be dating, but I'm kind of tired of rolling my eyes (PIAA, I actually let the girl see me roll my eyes). I guess that's a good place to start. Let me tell you about a girl I was sort of dating earlier in the summer (but by her account, I was her boyfriend).

I met this girl at school. On the last day while we were walking she dropped all of her info on me. Phone numbers, emails, aim, social security, blood type. That was interesting. I'm a sucker for aggressive tactics. I wasn't particularly interested, but being True Single I decided to get off my ass. I started hanging out with her and things happened. She's sweet. Really too sweet. But... (yes, you knew there was a but) she was a ditz. And she spoke as if she was always wearing invisible headphones while listening to Mystikal.

I took her to The Globe over on Pacific. It's not a particularly fancy place. A little poshi given its proximity to North Beach, but casual. The place was decently patronized, with an older couple sitting two feet from us.

Scene 1
A young couple, she wide-eyed with the menu, he rolling his eyes.

She: What are these numbers? They're not even in order...
The Restaurant: turns to look at couple
He: cowers and covers his face Those are the prices...

Scene 2
A waiter has just placed her salad on the table. He stands with a large wooden object in hand, turning the top over the salad.

He: looks at she
She: wide-eyed blank stare
He: raises an eyebrow at she
She: winks, thinking he is playing a game with her
He: widens eyes and gestures at the waiter
She: What's that?
Waiter: The pepper.
He: Yes, that will be enough for her.

Scene 3
She has just received her pasta. He has just received his cornish game hen. He gives her a piece to try.

He: deftly scrapes meat from the bone
She: fiddles with utensils WOULD IT BE UNCIVILIZED IF I ATE THIS WITH MY HANDS??
He: check please.

Scene 4
Two weeks later. The pair is driving along Broadway in North Beach. He with eyes permanently rolled upwards.

She: does this road go all the way to Oakland?
He: puzzled look
She: because my dad said you could take Broadway to get to Jack London Square.
He is expressionless for eight days. In the ninth he smacks his forehead and wonders what he has been doing for the past month and a half.

To her credit, she was incredibly sweet. She just wasn't for me. So what IS for me? I'm really never quite sure. At times I need the sweet one who will scratch my back at night. At others I need super bitch who leaves scars in my back at night.

But really, there are a few traits that I desire: intelligence, tact, wisdom, artistic/musical/athletic talent, passion, independence, strength, compassion, the ability to compromise, confidence.

While these all seem very general, they each represent a specific trait that I had cherished in a past relationship. All I need is a woman who can put these together and I'll be at Tiffany's first thing.

And for the peanut gallery - No, older is not a requirement anymore. (That's another story for another time)

Fabloaf out.

posted by lester @ 2:36 AM

Move over Enforcer......Here comes Squeak..

::bumps_bern_over_with_big_booty::

Hello everyone! I finally got over my writer's block to actually blog for the first time on here. (Thanks Voodoo-babeh for inviting me to write!!!) I have so much to write, no real focus...so I'm a bit off the wall and I just go with the flow...I just write whatever comes to mind.......just try to follow me, k??

PIAA in a nutshell (relationship/single wise)..or should I say "Squeak" - I've been single for about a year now....Can't say I've been really "seeing" anyone or "dating" anyone within that year..although I went on this dating phase end of last year/beginning of this year...but now I've been taking a "dating hiatus." Why? Cuz it just wasn't working for me.....I've had one too many situations where I've rolled my eyes discreetly while smiling....I've become a pro at that.....May be it's just bad luck....May be it's just bad timing....May be I just chose the guys with issues........Can't say I haven't had any heartache within that time. It's one thing to have heartache over something you know the answer to, but heartache over assumption sucks and that's why I tend to put myself through too much torment.....

May be I should tweak my M.O.?
May be I should just change my MO completely and be straight forward.....I was just reading this article in Cosmo (I swear it's my bible on relationship and sex). My momma always told me to make the guys go after me....So..I'm never been one to take initiative...Considering I've always been pretty passive, (or rather, I'm scared of rejection - who isn't?) I found this article rather interesting:

"Should a Woman Fight For a Guy's Attention? - Girls say that trying too hard won't land a stud you set your sights on, but men say it will"

67% of men say "Yes, fight for a fella"
"Chasing after a guy shows you're bold and really into him"
"I would like to see how far a woman would go to win me over...."

Whereas 72% of women say "No, don't force it"
".....If you're constantly trying to find a way to make him yours, you're wasting your time..."
"Being aggressively pursued is annoying as hell. Men are already scared enough of getting tied down..."

I thought it's cooler to leave subtle hints and be discreet...I thought being "mysterious" keeps them guessing. That's just the way I was raised...I figure, if a guy is diggin me, he just will...Can't force a guy...shoot..... But nooooo according to this article, guys like girls to be straight forward and aggressive???

I'm usually the girl standing on the side, or by the wall watching the girls jocking...
"Dayam, check her out....she is all up on him...."
or
"Dang....has she no shame?"

Uuurgh..they must be doing something right.....I should try this out once...research, research....I'll tell you all how it goes...

checking out for now..

::blowing kiss::

posted by piaadoll @ 4:35 PM

Weekend thoughts
I'm in a terrible mood... the weekend especially was not too exciting to begin with.
The weather is shitty again, but it truly did not matter especially since I had to finish this awful paper that I've been slaving over the whole summer. I started out the summer researching education and ideology in China, as a future dissertation topic, but ended up with analyzing child labor policies. I want to say that I'm baffled about how I got from one topic to the next, but truthfully, I just gave up on China. Too much Mao... so to speak. I decided to go with whatever I thought I could bullshit about in 5 days (paper due on tuesday, and I decided this on thursday)
Oh and of course I had that wedding to go to... which I did and which I just blogged about last night. Ok... I take back all the horrible things I said about couple-hood, except for the fact that I wish it wasn't such and overriding goal of singlehood. Just think about the things people say about single hood... you know, to be left on the shelf, spinsterhood, missing the boat. I still haven't figured out why singlehood keeps getting dissed. It isn't so bad... and besides, I think being single means that you still have your trump card to play! You still have that joker/ wild 4 (uno players should know this) card to play... you haven't made your choice yet... and that means you CAN still choose, until of course you commit to leaving singlehood for forever (in which case, you should faithfully do so and not be an ass and cheat on your other half for whatever dumb ass reasons).
So in my paper ( the one that's due on tuesday), I just spent a whole afternoon writing about multiple equilibria in the labor market. Well, I think that there's multiple equillibria in the relationship market too... I think equilibrium can be reached both in singledom and in coupledom. And I don't think either of them possess entirely positive or negative qualities. The stress comes when you're in between points of equilibria... in a state of flux where you can neither decide to be one nor the other. As it is, I think more of us are in that state more often than we would like to admit. You're not happy in a relationship... and you're not happy not being in one either. Tough choice. What do you do?

You bitch, you blog, you read all you can about China... that's what you do.

posted by mooncake @ 8:03 PM

Weddings, weddings, weddings.

Not to be a whiner or anything, but there is nothing that makes you feel more alone as a single person than a wedding.

It's all good that everyone is all hooked up but there should be some social etiquette in some book that says, don't ask single people at a wedding, "so when's it going to be your turn honey? ". Inevitably, you start asking yourself, how come it's not my turn yet? Is couple land really the place to be? Are people really that happy in couple land?

But then you put on the brakes and go, wait a miinute, why should I want something that I neither have nor need? Why should I need someone to complete my life?

Some people focus on the bad, and go, well, look at all the divorce rates... it's a 50% chance of living happily ever after... and then look at all the mess custody battles have created for kids. I should know... I'm a teacher. I see kids messed up all the time by adults who can't come to terms with their own vows.

Others are optimistic and say, you just have to wait for the right one. 50% chance at happy ever after really isn't bad and when you have the right one, your chances are much better.

A friend once told me that my chances of staying married are only 20% because I can never seem to settle. "You can't be so fussy honey"....

Thanks... but it's really not like grocery shopping.
I'd like to jump off the cliff with someone I at least somewhat like...

bah humbug.... just get me through the next wedding for the year, and I'll be set.

posted by mooncake @ 8:48 PM

AIYAH!!!

oops, i have to take myself off of the big aiyah too...

"As the rules stipulate, once you have successfully formed a bonding relationship with a significant other, then you must be removed from The Big Aiyah."

it's a little late, since it's been about three months since the enforcer got hooked up as well. i suppose you have to forgive me for not keeping up to date w. the big aiyah, as opposed to the random "cuddling" thoughts. hehe. it was a blast. it was cool vibing off ya'll. i'll miss the single life, but having a consistent [and cute] cuddle partner definitely enhances my life. =)

i agree w. voodoo. be true to yourself and be real. your compliment is out there.

checking out,
the enforcer

ps. welcome fabloaf and squeak!

posted by bernadette @ 12:26 PM

Good News, Bad News

Which one do you want first?

The Good News is that I found a Cuddler(refer to Universe Junky and The Enforcer's preious entries if you're lost).

The Bad News is that I am leaving the Big Aiyah. As the rules stipulate, once you have successfully formed a bonding relationship with a significant other, then you must be removed from The Big Aiyah. The Aiyah, as many of you know, is for single Asian folks, so with the latching on of a new boyfriend, I must bid you adieu. There are a few things that I learned from being a part of the Big Aiyah:

You don't have to be in a relationship to be happy. I hate hate hate people who say, I'm so sad, I need a boyfriend. You don't need a boyfriend, you need a life. You can and will be happy as a single person, but if you think someone will be the answer to that empty hole in your life, then you will attract the wrong people. I know what it's like to yearn for someone to fill that void, but if you don't take care of your own issues, you'll never get yo' shit together. Would you invite someone to your house if you got no furniture?

The Sex Debate Friends with Benefits. Some can hang, most can't, but if you can give out your goods for free, so be it. Just don't get caught up in the drama, and don't call me all heartbroken over it. Oh and if you are one of those dickheads who's cryin' over a lack of sex in your life, there are other ways to get off in this world, and by the way, I don't need to know about your sexual proclivities.

Don't hate on people who are in relationships. Yah okay so we're a little bitter over people in relationships. It's natural, but we're really happy for you. Really.

Have a sense of humor. This goes without saying, but if you can't take a joke, )(*&&^R$ you.

So in saying good bye in essence to single life, I don't plan on looking back wistfully wishing for those good times. I can honestly say that I've had some of the best times while single. I was able to work on myself, figure shit out, do whatever it was I had to do. I was able to leave all the hurt behind finally, and see that on the other side there were things waiting for me. You'll hear that when one door closes, another one opens. If you stop looking at the closed door, you'll find that the door that supposedly opened just in a nick of time was always open to begin with. It's all on you to make that decision to move on. To quote, [love] is exactly as funky or bland or sexy or boring or clichéd or domineering or beautiful or difficult or soul-sucking or breathtaking as you make it, as you want it to be, as you're capable of creating. That too, is on you.

I might be back here and there only in the comments to say what's up, but I look forward to reading your words and thoughts. To everyone, thanks for being my teachers and helping me always see that I was never alone during the shitty times, just too busy staring at the closed door to realize that happiness was right there. Coming to this point in my life was not without hardships, but with friends like you, and many of you readers are indeed friends, made growing up and becoming who I am so much easier.

When you least expect it, you find the one thing you're looking for. Not just the one thing, but everything. Thank you, Mango. I give you much props and big ups in Sac-town. I mean, I love you.

And to the rest of you, I hope you all get kicked off one of these days. But until then, I've invited some new Aiyah's to join to take my spot. Welcome Fabloaf and Squeak to the Big Aiyah crew. Introductions to follow.

I'll send a post card from La La Land.
Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 1:49 PM