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Monday, January 26, 2004
THE RUSE posted on 1/26/2004 02:37:50 AM by agentCB
THE DIRTY THIRTY posted on 1/23/2004 08:38:24 AM by agentCB
LOOKING AHEAD posted on 1/19/2004 01:39:35 PM by agentCB
PHYSICAL CHALLENGE posted on 1/17/2004 04:07:32 PM by agentCB
TECHNOLOGY posted on 1/17/2004 08:06:47 AM by agentCB
HAPPY NEW YEAR posted on 1/02/2004 01:35:50 PM by agentCB
my brother had used the simple yet solid front of "dinner with the parents" to keep my nosy ass at bay for 2 weeks before my birthday.
an amazing feat for someone who prides himself to be very "aware" of things.
i guess it doesn't hurt to be extremely busy and bothered by a bunch of drama that doesn't necessarily concern you, but you find yourself involved anyway (can't say any more than that, sorry).
and don't forget to add on the whole break-up thing.
so yeh, i was due for a good surprising. and i think it was exactly what i needed.
i went through the whole day like one of the peanuts characters when they have a bad day, u know when their thinking bubble is filled with dark black scribbled lines.
i was too busy trying to call ppl for the party i thought i was planning on saturday. thinking of what to make as food and whether or not to move the couch again to have full party access to my studio.
all the little stupid details i usually focus on.
but to walk in to my house on friday and see all my friends there, that shit was just perfect. and to think my brother and a few of my close friends pulled it off makes it even better.
initially, i thought someone had broken into the house because i first saw people running to and fro. my instinct was "Shit, someone's gankin' my equipment" then i thought that my sword was too far for me to get so i could shank a few proper.
then i recognized the faces and heard "surprise!"
the fight/flight response wore off and about a month's worth of drama, pain, overtime & shrinking pay checks, melted off of my back and i couldn't help but smile.
ironically, it was the first time i actually was looking forward to spending time with my immediate family before i hooked up with my friends. my mother called me later and said "you should have your 30th with your friends... go party and go to the clubs, you know..."
"aliens, get out of my mother's head" was what i was thinking, but yeh, moms is finally seeing that i'm not just her child anymore...
i think the whole 30th birthday thing gave em a lil bit of perspective i guess...
but yeh thanks to all those who came out to get me faded in record time. i wish i coulda jammed with all of ya'll but next time i'll remember to eat before i take them shots.
and to my brother, thanks man, you made my 30th birthday the most memorable. i couldn't ask for a better present from you.
one more week with the extra hours and then i'm off to sac city college to start a new internship. it should be more challenging structurally, but more fun overall.
here's 2 the 30th year.
Friday, January 23, 2004
i woke up this morning in my 30th year of existence on this planet. the mystical 30th year does not feel that much different from any other year.
i do know that i feel in pretty good shape, family relationships improved and i have a pretty impressive mini studio in the other room. that's gotta count for something.
i also notice some white hair, frequent indigestion, back pains, knee pains, forgetfulness, can't complete sentenc-
friends are still around, little brother is not little any more. my dog butch is still alive (14 x 7, u do the math!) and pyc is still alive and kicking thanks to a great community and all the youth stepping up and taking over...
almost done with school, on speaking terms with all of my exgirlfriends (prt)...
job is starting to feel like a job again, connecting with more people in the music biz, oh and the one thing i don't like about being a 30 yr old grad student who works for a nonprofit...
debt.
at least it's a good debt, had to put tuition, car repair bills and other shit like that on there. so it's not like i was fuckin around and buying a bunch of garbage. i do have more pumas though... and a bunch of "professional" lookin' clothing, hmmm
anyway, it's been a good 29 years so far. 30 will be interesting to see how it turns out. the aches and pains of life remind me how fuckin great it is to be alive. yeh it hurts once in a while, but in a way that u can't help but kinda smile that you're alive... i guess u can call me one of them "glass is half full" type of people.
oh yeh, and it definitely don't hurt if u don't look 30 also. then again, it kinda fucks up my game at the bar. haha
that will all change when i hit 40. the "looking young" thing will not be a problem. damn did i just type that?
Monday, January 19, 2004
i sit in my studio rearranging the equipment and furniture instead of sitting at work because it's dr. king's birthday. in the past, that day didnt have that much more significance for me than getting a day off.
sure i respected what dr. king did, but didn't realize how much his work really did impact me. so here's to not just him, but everyone else in the struggle. hope everyone has a good day.
i think it will even be better if we were to one day celebrate malcom x's bday, as well. to me that will be a guage of racial relations in this country. malcom x may not have appealed to many of the mainstream cats, but i think it helped everyone hear dr king. even more.
Saturday, January 17, 2004
was talkin to mina online about webdesign. she dared me, no fuck that... she DOUBLE DARED me to use the color pink on my new webdesign.
at first i had major issues. being from this american commercialized society and all, pink only meant one thing before ... "girls". likewise for blue meaning "boys". every design i put up had a feminine edge to it.
or so i thought.
so yeh, i'm colonized, gender biased, what have you, but here's my shot at redefinition. so maybe it ain't pink like chinese restaurant pink, but it's pink enough for me to rock it on here. the above picture is of the old cherry tree in my backyard in vallejo. this was taken on my old school minolta slr, back when i first figured out u didn't need to take pictures with a flash all the time.
CRATE DIGGIN'
i picked up doc box and b. fresh's classic one hit "slow love." had to call wrektangul to make sure he wanted it first. if u know this song, i dont have to stress the importance of the find, but ironically i really didn't have any feeling for this song as much as i would have for say tevin campbell's "tell me what u want me to do," tony terry's "when i'm with you" or anything by surface. i also picked up ghostown dj's "my boo" which reminded me of all the aqua-aerobics tapes i made for my ex (she was a swim teacher & trainer) back at uc davis. and finally i picked up "change clothes" by neptunes and jay-z...
i dont care what anyone says, that beat is dope.
right now, i am currently blogging
from my sony clie! my brother got me this cable that lets me use my cellphone as a modem. one of the unfortunate things is that i can't use my full size keyboard at the same time i use the modem. but this is a small grievance only. it'll be a good opportunity to get better at writing on here w/the graffiti option. this thing is crazy
Friday, January 02, 2004
the '04 is going to be my year. the last few, i was lost but now i sure as hell am found.
i found new inspiration for music, the r&b has somehow crept back into my musical repertoire. it's been a tough year and i made it through with friends and family.
love is still in the air, but this time it's going to start with me first.
lessons learned
no regrets
lots of good music made.
all i know is that love is worth the work. i just don't need to be the only one doing it. i can go into the details but i don't want to give away any ideas for the book (ha).
this year it's all about choices & options, it's going to be cool to see how it all turns out.
