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Tuesday, July 30, 2002
LOVE IS NOT PRACTICAL... posted on 7/30/2002 11:57:00 PM by agentCB
SUCCESS AT LAST posted on 7/29/2002 07:48:03 PM by agentCB
CAVORTING IN CAVERNS posted on 7/29/2002 08:00:25 AM by agentCB
BIRTHDAYS posted on 7/24/2002 10:03:12 PM by agentCB
(NOT SO) CLEAR LAKE posted on 7/22/2002 07:29:56 AM by agentCB
tested the other night posted on 7/17/2002 02:46:53 PM by agentCB
RUMBLE IN THE RUM JUNGLE posted on 7/15/2002 09:44:49 AM by agentCB
VEGA$ posted on 7/11/2002 01:29:34 PM by agentCB
ONE HUNDRED & SIX DEGREES posted on 7/10/2002 03:41:49 AM by agentCB
4TH OF JULY posted on 7/08/2002 03:21:14 PM by agentCB
BASKETBALL DIARIES posted on 7/03/2002 07:37:05 AM by agentCB
PATRIOTIC BREAD posted on 7/02/2002 04:47:50 PM by agentCB
HOT IN HERRR posted on 7/02/2002 01:06:50 AM by agentCB
VOODOO posted on 7/01/2002 05:37:46 PM by agentCB
and i guess it's not meant to be that way. i think one of my things was that i was trying to make the shit practical, but shit, sometimes it don't work out and we're just left with a bunch of circles and we need to make a square, go figure...
maybe with this new philosophy tucked under my belt, i can move on and things will be slightly easier. this should help with the judgmental, expecectation havin side of me.
it'll give me more leeway to compromise and be understanding and patient and all that good lovey dovey shit.
not like i'm not that way already... but i think it helps keep shit in perspective. i'm the type of guy that needs assurance that the big picture is somehow included into the mix. if i think of love as an ideal that includes impracticality at times, maybe my world will become a little easier...
who knows...
Monday, July 29, 2002
i think it's been since friggin january when i first got all of our digital video equipment at work. ever since then, i've been trying to get it all bug-free and workable. first the computer was not fast enough, and then it was in the shop for a few months because our computer tech guy is a numbnut when it comes to time. the next problem was getting all the software to work with the firewire interface without any conflicts. so yeh, it's been a pretty long road.
i am happy to say that i finally finished one video project at work; a 1.5 minute skit done by youth to against tobacco. even though it wasn't much i was happy to see that fucker finally finished.
now i have a backlog of shit to do... damn...
went to lake shasta this weekend to see the california caverns. went with luvbug and her mom, some long overdue quality time with her mom. she never goes out and luvbug always tries to get her to go places to no avail. she almost cancelled this time too, but luvbug talked her back into it...
anyway, we enjoyed the 3 hour drive past redding to the caverns. we had to take a boat across the lake and then take a bus up the hill to enter the cavern. i was slightly irritated by our tourguide who seemed to have not practiced her speech enough as she put enough "ums" in her presentations to give the impression she was chanting... "um, here's the first structure, um... please don't touch the um... fixtures um..."
she then made this extremely ignorant comment, albeit that it was probably something she was told so she just repeats it before every tour... but allow me to paraphrase...
"according to historians, the wintu indians have been coming to this cave long for a long time before it was 'discovered' but we credit james richardson with 'discovering' the caverns because he was the first to write his name inside of the cavern"
now at this point i was making side comments to luvbug. yeh, my bitter ass is at it again... but shit, we were slightly outnumbered by the caucasian folk so i didn't want to ruin it for luvbug and her mother by asking questions like... "why is it that even though the wintu indians were coming in here for ages but this white dude gets the credit for the 'discovery'?" or maybe i could have gone for the subtle approach and said "IT'S BECAUSE HE'S WHITE!!"
but yeh, i chose to forego this battle for the war, in fact i declassified the entire situation as a "conflict" just how bush called the gulf war a "conflict."
i digress...
anyway, we went to cache creek again after... i won 35 bucks so i took luvbug to see the bourne identity when we got home, it was a good movie. sometimes i can't shake matt damon's good will hunting character whenever i see him, so for a while i imagined him as will hunting running around beating up people yelling at them "who are u!!!?!?! who am i!?!?!"
on sunday, i worked on music, felt good to do that, haven't been on that mess for a while. it's time to get busy with it...
i have to fight the urges of my biological producer's clock, weary of my time expiring before i blow up... but luckily i believe in controlling your own destiny, so i know it's just a matter of times and perserverence... it's just hard for me waiting, but it's good to know i'm on the right path...
more later...
Wednesday, July 24, 2002
happy birthday shot outs to pyschogasm (aka voodoo child) and my cousin wrektangul. i didn't realize til today that they have the same birthday.
COMMUNICATION
why is it that when guys and girls talk about stuff, it seems like we're on different planets using tin cans and string to talk to one another? no matter how much u know about communication, or what profession you're in (counseling) there is something about talking to the one that's closest to you that makes it one of the hardest things in the world.
granted, it is definitely worthwhile... in due time i guess... gotta keep keepin' on...
Monday, July 22, 2002
went camping this weekend with the family and luvbug. the campground was tight, but the lake unfortunately was not what it used to be. clear lake is muggy and dirty. it used to be clear back in the day but after years of abuse, it's become this green slimey mess.
there are a lot of plants in clear lake which i guess is a good thing, but i don't know why they call it clear lake, cut it definitely does not meet the criteria of what i consider "clear."
this was our first family camping trip in friggin decades... we used to camp every summer, but my parents started to get blingy and go on cruises instead.
i hate cruises.
so when my mom asked me and my brother what kind of family stuff could we do, we said "let's go camping" and sure as shit it was as fun as ever.
the only thing different than when we were kids is that we realize what we are swimming in. green water is not healthy, i guess i just happened to be more fearless back in the day.
went kayaking with my brother, ez and luvbug... it was so much fun that i was considering buying a friggin kayak. it was a good arm workout as well... i enjoy it more than rowboats. it's more personal and intimate... prt
anyway, with the help of luvbug's expertise, we made s'mores for the first time as well. just like every caucasian kid's fantasy, we got to try the tasty cracker treat (pun intended! haha). i can say i am hooked.
i know have a fourth use for marshmallows.
in case u are wondering what the other 3 uses are, here they are as follows: 1) rice crispy treats, 2) topping for sweet potatoes at thanksgiving, 3) hot chocolate topping (marshmallows in breakfast cereals do not count). usually, i mainly use marshamllows when i go camping or if i get a craving for rice crispy treats.
anyway....
i took lots of pics of the campground, but i don't know how to upload to brl or even if i'm allowed so i guess no pics, sorry... maybe next time.
i bought my first tent... a dome shaped model, sleeps 4 and is 9 x 7. pretty nice. i was debating whether or not to get one of them air mattresses, but i think it defeats the purpose of "roughing it". i think if i get some kind of thicker foam it'll be ok... there's a big ass sale of camping supplies at target...
c'mon go get it....
CACHE CREEK
went to cache creek for the first time in my life. after hearing about it so much in undergrad at UC Davis, i finally got my ass out to the reservation to see what it was all about.
from what i hear, it has pretty much grown from one little room to this huge casino in the middle of nowhere. parking was a pain in the ass and there were hella filipinos all up in that spot.
when u go in, it looks just like a reno or tahoe casino. after spending a weekend in vegas, of course it wasn't shit. but pretty damn good for only an hour away from home.
if i was a compulsive gambler, i'd defintely make that the spot to rock. i'd be hooked from free all you can drink soda bar. too bad the drinks were flat and there wasn't any ice. can't knock a free thing though...
on the way back to the house, luvbug and i saw a bunch of signs along the way such as "casiNO expansion" or "STOP TRAFFIC ON HIGHWAY 16" apparently the residents of the small towns along the way to cache creek are tired of all the traffic and want the casino to stop expanding.
the native americans that run the casino are not breaking laws, it is their land so says the federal government as an attempt to irradicate the native american nation way back in the day, by basically saying "oh since ya'll were here first in america,. you can have this part of land here and here and there and we won't fuck with you. stay in your place and we're cool."
now being the aware person i am, i struggled to find where i stand with this debate. luvbug said "screw it, let them have their casinosn they (native americans) have been through enough" that of which i whole-heartedly agree.
i just find it strange that i actually support the perpetuation of compulsive behaviors for a change... true i feel bad for the small townspeople that live in the area and have to deal with the hoards of lexus suv's, souped up hondas, benzos and beamers that drive thru their places 24/7 but hey...
what's a little traffic compared to mass genocide?
not that it's scientifically proven that casinos actually help the native americans on a reservation, but isn't it sad that this is the one of the only ways for the once great native american nation to regain some of it's power? through a casino not even half the size of circus circus?
i find myself in support of the native american movement, but i know that the money the native americans get doesn't help with the severe alcoholism and depression in the community.
i guess i'd be depressed to if my people were slaughtered, my country was abused polluted and torn apart and i was shoved in a few acres of land to live off of.
to hell with small town politics, it's payback time... where are the nickel slots!?!?! (prt)
Wednesday, July 17, 2002
passed with colors flying
left with heart perspiring
thumping, confused,
bewildered, in doubt
by what just transpired
during the evening by the fire
red curtains
we danced til the morning
talked about life,
love and one's yearnings
shared a laugh or two
then thought about
what was back home
waiting for me
realized that this was just a fantasy,
tried hard to see the truth
focus on reality
admiration of novelty
wears away in time
reality just kicked back in
see u next lifetime...
Monday, July 15, 2002
what happens in vega$ stays in vega$, according to the strict code set forth by my boys. indeed, nothing really happened anyway... ;)
we did however go to a nice club in mandalay bay by the name of "rum jungle." this is pretty much the best club i've seen. music was ok... but they did play a good mix of dance and then hiphop, which is a plus. and then! they had live drummers! which is a double plus, given my new undertaking of classic drums. even though u couldn't really hear them unless u was right behind them, it was pretty cool.
my favorite part was the glass dividers that had water trickling down them to give the impression of a waterfall. being a true aquarian, i always enjoy the presence of water in my environment, unless of course i'm taking a shit and it's getting on my feet or something like that.
good times in vega$, but alas i must hold true to the code and keep my mouth shut. sucks for ya'll...
Thursday, July 11, 2002
in the midst of this wonderful heatwave, the boys and i are heading down to infamous city of sin for jay-b's bachelor party. this is my first bachelor party, but my 3rd time to vega$ (as a legalized adult). the 20+ of us will be driving down to the LV and it's gonna be hot as fidduck.
but since i'm from sac, it's all good. it was actually hotter in sac that it was in vegas yesterday. sac's 112 to vega$'s meager 106... oooh i'm shakin' in my boots here.
i'm broke as a joke, but it's for my boy (oooh boy!, boy, boy boy... cam'ron joke, get it?) so i'm suckin it up and takin the hit right in the moth filled wallet. i get paid next week, too late for vega$
or is it just in time?
anyway... we're gonna stay at the las vega$ hilton. we have 2 suites. it's gonna be on and crackin.'
more to come...
Wednesday, July 10, 2002
was the recorded temperature today up in sacto. after 100, it's really hard to tell the difference until u get to about 110, when it becomes "holy-shit" hot. i didn't feel the heat that much since i'm used to it...
until we started playin hoop...
call me crazy, but yeh, we balled in this god forsaken heat. i played with some friends from grad school and they is tight. my boy eclipse posted up and put some body on protege. protege had his shot on, but it wasn't enough as we beat 'em 4 times!!!
i don't know why the hell we played in the heat. all i know it's supposed to be 113 tomm. no hoop for me.
PROCRASTINATION
i have a lot of songs to be mixing down. i really haven't been keeping up with it. instead, i've been lookin for mp3's and fuckin with super mario kart (a la SNES emulator). that game brought back memories of davis though. i would sit at my apartment and just fuckin play til i had blisters. my old roomate ken and i would just beat the shit out of each other in battle mode.
good times...
but anyway... i need to get motivated here... i have good songs i'm working on too... i just don't know why i don't feel like working with shit... oh yeah now i remember...
i'm outgrowing my equipment.
it's not the same with the roland vs-880ex to record vocals. i'm trying to do more complex editing and it's starting to get tedious, with all the memorization of numbers and marking. i prefer the cut/paste options of a good desktop recording program(ie. protools). if i could get my hands on that shit, i'm a happy camper.
so yeah... i'm working on a bunch of projects. but it seems like lately, all i do is think about work. WTF. i left davis to get away from that. but a mufucka gotta eat right... so it's off to workin with "dem jacked up kids" as voodoochild so eloquently puts it.
anyway.. vegas trip is coming this thursday... jay-b is getting married and us groomsmen are on a mission with the bachelor party...
Monday, July 08, 2002
had our annual bbq on the 4th. this time it wasn't cloudy like last year. had some old friends come up... some new ones as well. it all boiled down to a few of us playing cards in the back getting eaten alive by mosquitos.
we also played hoop with bah_jo, jb, my bro and i. felt like we had an audience watching us play. did alright, had my game face on.
HOLY MATRIMONY
one of my best friends got married over the weekend. j mac finally tied the knot with her man. i met him for the first time as did j mac meet luvbug for the first time as well.
admittedly, at first i felt somewhat left out not being involved in the wedding somehow. but as i got to the place, i realized that it was mostly family. i was at the table with the only set of j mac's friends there. i felt more honored to even be at the wedding, considering that it was a small, yet intimate engagement. j mac mentioned keeping it simple due to costs so the feelings of being left out quickly subsided.
j mac and i go way back to college. i met her at the tercero dining commons. on the second day of being on campus at ucd, i was uneasily searching for a bottle of soy sauce in my new surroundings. jmac must have heard me and came up to me "u must be filipino..."
we've been close ever since.
we've been thru loads of shit together, and we've always seen each other thru it. she's like a sister/spiritual advisor/friend/ all wrapped up in one. after we graduated from ucd, it's been tough staying in each other's lives, but whenever we catch up, it's like we've never missed a beat.
that's my homegirl.
what else can i say but congratulations jmac and good luck...
SHALLOW HAL GOT A GAL
luvbug and i rented shallow hal today, i've always admired the farrelly brothers' movies after something about mary. they have this realness to them and they just basically "go there" whenever the hell they get a chance.
i expected this movie to be superiorly degrading to the socially defined "obese" people of our community, but overall, it wasn't as bad as i had expected. i liken this to a sensitivity training course for all 18-24 year old ignorant privileged males that watch shows like "the man show" or anything else true to that form.
if u fit in that category, rent this movie and open your mind, u ignorant fuck...
with that aside, the movie basically tries to prove a point a la the "carlos mencia" method of getting people to laugh at differences because they're funny. as i do agree with some of this philosophy, there are of course things about it i don't agree with. (ie. making fun of others without truly understanding and appreciating the differences as a means of perpetuating xenophobia) but i think this movie should be taken as a whole and it's good hearted attempt to challenge the superficial ignorant fucks out there that ruin it for the real men out there. *ahem* of course i would be a hypocrite if i didn't consider myself to be superficial at times, but overall, homey don't play that.
enough said...
Wednesday, July 03, 2002
i think i busted up one of my homeboy's ankles last night with a hard reach in foul that ended up sounding like a kid getting spanked... he hit the ground faster than he expected and rolled his ankle.
oops... my bad...
hopefully he'll be ok... and we can continue on thurs at our annual 4th of july gala... out
Tuesday, July 02, 2002
was the item that caught my eye at Goldilock's. i went there for lunch today at work. my coworker and i could not believe it, a loaf of bread swirled in the colors of ol' glory itself.
it doesn't get better than this. *shaking head*
see, i have this little post 9-11 theory. for people of color, the bigger the flag... the more fear one has. of course all the patriots out there are going to bitch and moan, but ya'll can get the thick diznick. i don't care.
even though i don't agree with everything american and apple pie, i think that the flag has become a commercial symbol. it's being bastardized by this "war." a few months after 9-11, i saw plastic flags flying all over the place. flags lying on the road after being blown out of those little white flag holders for cars.
disrespectful i tell you.
and the ultimate... the poster of the flag in SF stores with the caption "america: open for business" with a flag with those plastic shopping handles.
what the fuck is that all about?
to me, the shopping bag flag is the perfect symbol of what america has turned into. plastic and based on wasting money.
please. like people really needed to be nudged to shop. i don't know what's worse, the fact that they had that all over sf, or the fact that it probably worked. people felt like they were doing the right thing by supporting the economy and buying shit they don't need.
what a country...
now we got patriotic bread. funny that filipinos would think of that. we is some colonized mufuckas.... now we can be patriotic and eat our flag in bread form! yay.
i must say i hate jiggy hiphop. i went to the club in vallejo over the weekend and even though they played hiphop all night, they managed to get me off the floor most of the night.
i guess it was because they played alot of that radio shit. i can't stand that formulaic poor excuse for hiphop. i understand why it's here, and why people like it, but frankly i care less because i can't stand to listen to it.
anyway, everytime they would play a good song like biggie then mix out to the yin yang twins, godforesaken creators of the "whistle while u twerk" song.
don't get me wrong, i respect all types of hiphop even all that blingy shit, but frankly i don't care for it. being a producer, i have to force myself to hear what's going on with the song for research purposes. thus, i have to listen to everything.
the key thing is fast forwarding. thank god...
Monday, July 01, 2002
agentCB is now part of the infamous BRL crew. click on the links on the right to peep. many scholarly heads. rhymin' and schemin'... out
