Laying the foundation..
Hi everyone, I'm Shooter.A little background on me: I'm single, educated, in my 30's, experienced, athletic, and dating.
On a frequent basis, I'll be spewing tidbits about my views on relationships, dating, sex, and hygiene from a decidedly male perspective. Please don't get me wrong - I'm not a mysogynist. On the contrary, I love women and enjoy their company and long to have a meaningful relationship with someone who is affectionate, intelligent, kind, godfearing, and confident. Until that fortuitous time, I will continue to date and (as my mother always says) "collect and select" to both pass the time and to enjoy the interaction.
So, let me begin with a little rant about "one-itis". One-itis is an illness that afflicts SINGLE men who dangerously fixate on one woman at a time. I say dangerously because this effectively is putting all your eggs in one basket. I currently avoid one-itis like the black plague. One must think of the time you spend with women along the same lines as the money you invest for the future. For all intents and purposes, they are quite similar. Your goal is to maximize your return on investment and minimize risk. So, when a guy spends all of his effort courting ONE woman of unknown value at a time, he risks excessive emotional injury and loss of valuable time and emotional capital.
So why not spread out that risk? Why not date more than one woman at a time?
To be clear, I'm not promoting cheating or infidelity or anything like that. What I am advocating is a more polyamorous and adult approach to dating where all information is above board. You effectively reduce risk and improve your possibility of finding the girl that fits you best. Imagine a situation where you're dating numerous women you share interests with and find that you truly enjoy the time you are spending with a specific one. You enjoy her so much, you forsake the rest. Wouldn't you feel better about making a life changing decision based on this epiphany?
Now doesn't that sound nice? You bet.
Potholes.
There are inherent problems with this method. Sadly, they usually orginate with your prospects:
1. Attachment- some of your prospects may develop attachment issues. Let's face it, you may too, but that refers back to one-its. The key to absolving yourself of this is to be entirely honest about your dating capabilities. Let them know that you're not interested in exclusivity at the moment and prefer to feel your way along with her holding your hand, constantly hoping for the best.
2. Klingons - this is the kissing cousin of attachment. More to the point, Klingons are exactly that: kling-ons. The stalker chicks who absolutely have to be the only hen in the henhouse and will make your life increasingly difficult because they will not stand to be Seven of Nine. Sadly, you must boot these alpha females. Nuff said.
3. Money - being poly amorous is a very expensive proposition. Dating is not cheap. Be forewarned.
4. Schedule - related to money. There are only so many days in the week and so many hours in the day. Juggling a dating schedule with work and friend/family committments can and will be tricky. It takes a steady hand...
Please understand that this strategy to combat the risks inherent in dating one woman at a time is based on strict HONESTY. The moment you lie, quibble, or glean over information, you sacrifice your integrity and you may hurt someone badly. It's been done - don't do it. Be clear about your capabilities, and if they see enough value in you, they'll stick around. It's your job to establish that value. More about establishing value later...
**Ladies, this strategy is not meant to reduce your value to us. It is meant to reduce the impact of you saying "no" and keeps us moving forward. Men are physically strong beings with fragile egos. A striking woman, 5'1" in stature, and dressed in a great outfit will easily crush a 6'4" 250lb man by simply saying "no" to his genuine advance. This is just one way to reduce that impact while not losing our motivation to find the one for us...it'll hurt, it just won't hurt that bad.
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