Snakes is to Blame
So the lowly snake is the villain again huh? I guess when the Old Testament gives you a rep you can't exactly shake it. People just love seeing snakes in movies...i mean, the success of Anaconda will attest to that...and even a bit further back Conan the Barbarian had to battle with James Earl Jones when he turned into a giant snake. (Remember when dude took a snake and somehow made it stiff enough to use as an arrow like projectile? Blew my mind). What I don't understand is...WHy isn't our natural nemesis the MONKEY featured more? I mean planet of the apes was a phenomenon...yet only one series featuring our simian rivals? They're stronger than us and quite wily..yet we aren't using them as villains enough. (The Outbreak monkey doesn't count because that monkey was just diseased). Dane Cook had it right when he said that it would be fantastic if you kept a trained chimpanzee in your house that you would only feed if it would battle you with a sword and a shield. He said "How stoked would you be at work if you knew that when you got home...somewhere in the shadows a trained monkey was readying itself to do battle with you?" I mean seriously, come on...that's totally worth it. But no, we pick on the poor serpent because it happens to pack venom and can squeeze through places and surprise the shit out of you while you're looking for your shoes or something. I say boo...I say enough, bring on the monkeys.
Top 5 animal villains
5) Dogs -Cujo, those resident evil dogs.
4) Pirahna - them pirahna movies...you know, they can eat like a whole cow in a minute.
3) Alligators - Always lurking in the sewers or your pool. Sewage or chlorine...its all good to them. Never flush em because they turn giant.
2) Snakes - see my comments above. Bad rap...boring to boot.
1) Sharks - THat's right bitches sharks is the A-#1 badass animal movie villain of all times!, Mr. Spielberg made it okay for you to hate sharks. They're from the devil himself supposedly.
ps. No, gremlins aint real animals ...so I don't wanna hear that sh*t.
So the lowly snake is the villain again huh? I guess when the Old Testament gives you a rep you can't exactly shake it. People just love seeing snakes in movies...i mean, the success of Anaconda will attest to that...and even a bit further back Conan the Barbarian had to battle with James Earl Jones when he turned into a giant snake. (Remember when dude took a snake and somehow made it stiff enough to use as an arrow like projectile? Blew my mind). What I don't understand is...WHy isn't our natural nemesis the MONKEY featured more? I mean planet of the apes was a phenomenon...yet only one series featuring our simian rivals? They're stronger than us and quite wily..yet we aren't using them as villains enough. (The Outbreak monkey doesn't count because that monkey was just diseased). Dane Cook had it right when he said that it would be fantastic if you kept a trained chimpanzee in your house that you would only feed if it would battle you with a sword and a shield. He said "How stoked would you be at work if you knew that when you got home...somewhere in the shadows a trained monkey was readying itself to do battle with you?" I mean seriously, come on...that's totally worth it. But no, we pick on the poor serpent because it happens to pack venom and can squeeze through places and surprise the shit out of you while you're looking for your shoes or something. I say boo...I say enough, bring on the monkeys.
Top 5 animal villains
5) Dogs -Cujo, those resident evil dogs.
4) Pirahna - them pirahna movies...you know, they can eat like a whole cow in a minute.
3) Alligators - Always lurking in the sewers or your pool. Sewage or chlorine...its all good to them. Never flush em because they turn giant.
2) Snakes - see my comments above. Bad rap...boring to boot.
1) Sharks - THat's right bitches sharks is the A-#1 badass animal movie villain of all times!, Mr. Spielberg made it okay for you to hate sharks. They're from the devil himself supposedly.
ps. No, gremlins aint real animals ...so I don't wanna hear that sh*t.
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