Sunday, April 09, 2006

What Happens in Vegas, Is in My Blog, Bitches.

Vegas for most people involves serious attempts at frivolity on many different levels. Visitors either strive for excess or just happen to find themselves on the other side of the curve. Rarely are people there just to be there. There's always something to strive for when in Vegas.

That being said, I will not in any way shape or form reveal the names and identities of those who went on said trip to Vegas save myself. I will, however reveal interesting things heard and seen on my short 1 day and 15 hour stop in Sin City. The trick here, my friends, is to tell me which ones I lovingly performed, thus whoring myself out for the benefit of the blog, or the ones other folks performed, just because, well Vegas is one big amateur night, and people just love letting it all hang out when they really should just go away.

Enjoy, good luck, and winners will be given two gift cards I have from Starbucks which may or may not have a balance. You lucky people you. Now onto the show:


  1. "I need to work on my boobs!"
  2. "There are a few HMs here! (Hot Men)"
  3. "That's sisterhood right there!" (As unnamed person crawled on the floor of a restroom under a door to comfort a yakking friend).
  4. "I just spent the last five minutes throwing up last night's dinner."
  5. "Can I get a bag for "the ride home?""
  6. "I don't want your condom if it's the only one you've got."
  7. "I'm married. No more condoms."
  8. "Which one of your friends is single?" "None of them for you."
  9. "Spring break. The boobs are all out."
  10. "You need to ask someone who looks young. Like 21."
  11. "Penis, you can say it, Penis, Penis, Penis."
  12. "Honey, if I don't make it home, I love you." (As the cab raced through traffic and many near-death experiences.)
  13. "There's a naked man driving our cab."
  14. "If you don't maintain, the cabbie won't take you."
  15. "My gay friend said I need to show my boobs."
  16. "As the oldest person here at the table, I need to get to bed before any of you."
  17. "I'm going to ask you to do something weird. Call your husband."
  18. "No crying on the dance floor!"
  19. "Okay, she just said, 'There's Suge Knight.' He's a killer and she yelled his name. We are going to die."
  20. "Wow, they all have different color wigs. We need to up our game."
  21. "If I get married in Vegas, I'm going to have my reception at Rain."
  22. "Oh look a Japanese boy band."
  23. "We saw Hilary Duff!"
  24. "Want me to teabag that for you?"
  25. "The Filipinos are in the house!"
  26. "The hot tub is ready for you. All of our spices and flavorings have been simmering."
  27. "Take us on the gentle route home, if you don't mind."
  28. "Just eat the meat."
  29. *freebie* "I'm from San Francisco, so I know a thing or two about you already."


Okay, there are plenty other things that I left off which will go with me to the grave. Which is really unfortunate, because those are some of the funniest ones out there. So have at it. Guess which ones came out of the mouth that kisses my mother. Filthy little savage!

dooVoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 9:18:00 PM