There's few places i loathe with a passion more than my gym's mens restroom. Washing my hands is only 1 minute of my time out of 60 minutes in the gym yet it is sixty seconds that always seems to slow down to a crawl. It's always muggy, damp and slippery and the smells of disinfectant, deodorant and perspiration are always fighting each other. The mirrors are perpetually fogged up to remind you of the hot putrid moisture that you are breathing in. This dimly lit area is haunted with all sorts of bodies in various states of...ok, let's just say various states. It never fails to disappoint me that the men who are in the worst of states are never in a hurry to get dressed. The most wrinkled and bloated of the lot usually saunter over to the mirror and towel themselves off oh so slowly. They make sure they stare at themselves while they do it too...and sometimes, if I'm unlucky enough, they'll raise their leg up on the sink to towel off their calves which leaves their sagging sack suspended like a pinata. Since its not their home towel, these folks also go balls out (no pun intended) on their nether regions...doing the flossing motion with the towel on their crotch and ass. I have so many questions to ask them but I feel as if they will never be answered. These questions include:

If you workout so much and so hard how come you still look like that?

If you are in such a hurry that you can't drive home to shower after your workout, how come you take your sweet ass time in THIS bathroom?

Did you know you are naked longer in this public gym after a shower that I am naked in my OWN BATHROOM after a shower?

Yes indeed, Im an observant fellow...to a fault. If I observed alot its only because sixty seconds feels like a lifetime in there. I can't wait til they install a wash sink outside the gym... or maybe I'll just quit working out.