wedding blues

it costs at least 20Gs to get married these days- and that's the minimum to have a decent party for about 150 people to party, get drunk, say i do and catch the f'in bouquet. i just don't get it. 20Gs is half the down payment for an apartment here for goodness sake.
if the 20Gs will buy you peace of mind, i'd say, by all means, spend that money... hell, spend 50Gs... peace of mind is priceless. But as most brides will tell ya, planning a wedding is far from peace of mind. it's months and months of headache, drama and worrying.
i'm gonna be the maid of honor at my friend's wedding- and am reluctantly stepping into the job. it sucks, but she's a good friend and i love her. so i'm gonna do it anyway. little did i know however, that she decided to also ask my ex-boyfriend, J, to be one of the groomsmen as well. Now, J and I are civil, but not on good terms. the last time we hung out, i wanted to wring his neck, and i'm sure he wanted to do the same to me. i remembered the exact same feelings of annoyance, irritance, and fingernails dragging across the chalkboard type sensation during our last weeks together as a couple. that breakup was a relief. and now, in a month, we're gonna be "partners" at this wedding. I'm just about ready to kill someone. I suppose I'll just have to take a whole lot of anxiety medication to get through this whole ordeal.
last nite, J gloated and said to me, even your friends are more comfortable with me than you are. I snorted, and he replied, it's the truth- i only speak the truth.
ok honey, you and jesus. i'm sure that makes you f'in happy about yourself.
so, i'm making the mental calculations right now. 20Gs and above to make you and your friends unhappy, or 20Gs and elope and get a fab honeymoon. not a very difficult choice issit? if you're reading this, and you're a bride to be... please consider elopement.