Ode to Kudzu

On Saturday last
I was smashed
At my birthday party
Soon as I could think
In my hand was a drink
And then I was acting retardy

But in my body was Kudzu
A plant from China
That grows like weed in the South
It has an effect
On alcohol
So I popped 5 capsules in my mouth

Kudzu? Eh?
What's the effect, you say
On alcohol metabolites?
Well my friend
If you take it ere drinking
Your buzz will last most of the night

It suppressed the amount
Of the chemical produced
That causes inebriation
So you can last a lot longer
And drink a lot more
To live up to your party reputation!

But that's not all that Kudzu does
Oh no my friend
Not quite
For it speeds up the rate
T'which your body produces
A-CE-TAL-DE-HYDE

Another metabolite
you say?
What does that do, No Tations?
Well, my friend
Acetaldehyde
Gives the pleasant hungover sensation

But I don't get it
Your drunkenness slows
But your hungover appears much faster?
Yes, my friend
But listen closely
The hangover won't be there day after

You will get drunk
But it might take more drinks
Cause you know how it is on your birthday
With all those free drinks
Everyone gives you
Your body is soon gonna pay

So last saturday night
At Silver Cloud Bar
I was feeling way loopted
I'm glad I don't remember
Half of the night
Because I heard I was acting way stooptid

So next time you're going out
And want to drink
There's nothing for partying much greater
Call up No Tations
And he'll give you Kudzu --
Your body will thank you much later.

______________________________________________________--

The first bit of poetry I've written since I was trying to get together with my X.

Have a nice weekend.

~No Tations~