Yesterday, I had an extremely difficult conversation with a friend that lasted 2 hours; after which I had to process it with my girlfriend K for another 2 hours. My cell phone usage will one day burn my brains out I know it.

So the difficult conversation went like this:
"If we start this, it'll never go anywhere"
"Well, how do you know? you haven't even tried"
"well, I just do."
"I'm not looking for marriage if that's what you think."
"Well, neither am I. But this isn't what I want either"
"What is it that you want? Why are you giving up your options? You're wasting your time you know that...waiting and waiting."
"I don't know what I want. I just know this isn't what I want."

*repeat conversation for about another 45 minutes in other permutations*

Arrgghh...

I was so traumatised by this that I had to call my girlfrend. K and I talked til 1:30am this morning trying to figure out what I want, what she wants, out of men and relationships. But that is another story for another day. Right now, all I can think of is that I wore red socks with my brown mary janes and look like hell.