From EuroTrash:
What I think of during sex

Dear God, will this ever end?
Stop biting!
That is NOT my clitoris
Oh dear, I thought he'd be better than this.
I'm getting lockjaw.
My arm is about to drop off. Please come. Please please please come. Soon.
I'm going to have stubble rash in the morning.
Porn. Think of some porn. That might help.
Desperate times, desperate measures. Let's try the finger up the bum. See if that finishes him off.
Oh God. He's a freak.
What's his name again?
I am so never ever going to do this ever again. With him.
Why is he making that funny noise?
Typical boy. His duvet smells.
Wow. That was good. [Rare, that one]