Masturbating may protect against prostate cancer

Talk about good news for all men out there, as if self pleasure wasn't enough of a reason to risk eye strain watching scrambled adult channels for a quick glimpse of a nipple. Now, when someone catches you before you can pull up your pants, you can just claim that you're simply trying to be healthy. You eat 6 servings of fruit and vegetables each day and drink way more than 8 glasses of water. From now on, we simply add -- "ejaculate once a day" to our repertoire.