The Big Aiyah

Just my luck...I finally find a nice down to earth guy (DVC guy) and well...I tells me he doesn't want to see me anymore.

I hadn't talked to him in three days. Left a couple of messages but didn't stalk him or anything. And I have to admit they were pretty upbeat messages. No why aren't you calling me kind of things. Just those simple, Hey how ya doin' messages.

Anyhow, last night, I get this deep sinking feeling that he just lost interest. I mean why else wouldn't he call me or answer my calls for three days after talking to each other every single day for the past 2 weeks. I was actually more upset last night not knowing if he was just going to NOT call or if he would be decent enough to call and tell me himself.

I guess I got what I wanted. The phone rang a little after lunch today. Across my LCD screen flashed his name. I got the are you busy can you talk openning line. He went on to explain that this "thing" with us just started off as too much of a whirlwind romance and that he just can't do it. He wants out. He said it wasn't anything about me or anything I did...just that he was feeling "boxed" in.

I still don't understand how he could feel "boxed" in when we hardly really saw each other. At most, we'd talk everyday. But, I didn't argue. How can you argue with "(he's) the only one that really knows (himself)" and he knows he can't continue whatever "this" is. He admitted that he's just probably scared of getting into a serious relationship, but whatever it is ...he needs to back out.

I told him I was glad he told me. It doesn't make me feel any better, but at least I'm not left hanging.

THEN, he tells me he still wants to be friends and he doesn't want me to hate him and that he'd like me to still call him if I need someone to talk to. I know his intentions were good but was this just another way making himself feel better for dumping on me? I suppose a part of me is bitter. I have enough "pals". I'm looking for the real thing which I saw a glimmer in him.

I don't hate him. I told him that amidst all the "whirlwind" that above all I simply enjoyed his company. Although it didn't really matter at that point, he said that he enjoyed mine too and that he wasn't trying to string me along.

I told him that I probably won't be calling him first. I put it in his court, since HE wanted "out" that the ball is in his court if he wants to talk to me.

I think I'll retire for a while from putting myself out there. My sister says someone's out there for me...to keep hoping that my "frog prince" will arrive. I dunno though. I seem to be on a streak with a bunch of toads.

posted by Ukulele Princess @ 3:52 PM