The Big Aiyah

I keep making the same mistakes.
Despite all the things I’ve learned from my errors and experiences in life,
I keep making the same mistakes!

When the situation starts becoming familiar, there always comes a point, a moment of truth, the defining moment. When the crossroad presents me with a choice to either: use my head, stay strong, and do the right thing. Or, I fill my ego and consciousness with images of victory and more important the accompanying spoils granted to the victor. Analogous to Kevin Costner in “Tin Cup”, I keep aiming for the green over water with a fairway wood. “Lay up you fool!” But stubbornness is a trait born that, unlike arrogance, is neither tempered with time nor triumphed by defeat. (For the non-golfers, imagine going for the blackout, when getting 5 numbers in a line will get you BINGO)

“I can do it! I’ve learned so much that I won’t make the same mistakes. It’s different this time”

But my life is not a Hollywood movie and my consequences and disappointment last beyond 90 minutes. I have to live with the shame when I see their faces and the never-ending ridicule from my friends.
I keep going for multiple women despite the fact that they’re friends, roommates, or related to someone I’m already going for; sometimes (like this weekend) at the same party.
I only see the glory and the spoils.
I keep making the same mistakes.

posted by evil rat @ 4:14 PM