Atlanta Vignettes

11/14/02

Arrived in Atlanta just over three hours ago. It�s 9:38pm California time, but past midnight in Atlanta. Tom and I went out for dinner a little after we got here. Went to a place called Moondogs. Cool place, they have Killians, and soccer on TV. It�s a Georgia Tech hangout. Feels like the set of Real World. Lots of 18 year olds, cigarettes hanging off their fingers,, checking members of the opposite sex out.

Atlanta has more freeways than one could imagine. Almost every exit splits off into another 3 or 4 other freeways. From the plane, one could see the myriad of roads and the fairy lights of the city. This place is a huge sprawl. It reminds me of Singapore, but without the density of an Asian city. It�s also got the brand spanking new buildings that one doesn�t usually see in older cities like SF and New York.

11/15/02
Conversation with Cab Driver:
�I from Haiti. I come here to work, not take drugs or live in shelter. You see this place. (Points to huge warehouse on left), it can hold 25 000 homeless people. You see these black people, they think the white people and government owe them something. I am here to work. People don�t owe me anything.�

Lunch: ate at this really cool restaurant called The Clubhouse. It had excellent service. Had a walnut spinach salad that was to die for. Everyone there was really well dressed. Looked like this old gentleman�s club, with VIP sections, haughty taughty businessmen cutting deals and old white women with pearl earrings and matching pearl necklaces. The southern draawwwlllll is driving me crazy. We say y�all, and they say �y�awwwlllll�. And when asking a question, they say, �Ah haiiaf a kweschen, hwat dew yew thinKKK��

Every woman here is in a suit. Very much like Shanghai, women dressed decently and in a feminine way. Don�t see anything grunge, or skateboarder fashion like. Nothing hippy. Everyone is just really proper.

Once again am the token Asian here. Also the token under 30 person amongst a whole bunch of middle aged women. Worse still, southern women. I find it ironic the children with the most difficulty learning come from inner cities and are mostly minorities. The people who have the knowledge however are all white. I don�t know if this furthers my own ethical dilemma: only white kids have the resources to pay for and get accommodations, or help for their reading and learning problems. Of course I�m assuming here that white teachers only teach white kids. Probably not such a good assumption, but most people tend to live in neighborhoods with other people of the same race. I don�t think I�m making too much of a generalization here. If you teach in your neighborhood school, then I guess the leap I�m making is that they also teach white only kids.

But even furthering that idea, I sometimes feel that the definition of LD creates a whole bunch of rights savvy kids who simply say that they deserve all that time that their parents had bought them with their diagnosis. They are also very unwilling to try certain subjects that they think they will not do well in. Last week, a student came in to see me. She said that she had never done math past her junior year in high school (she�s a college senior now), and that she wants her math requirement waived. When asked if she would consider a pass/fail, she said, no. She just couldn�t do it and didn�t want to put herself through this. Couldn�t help but think, �spoilt rich white kids�.

Went through her case file and do see some discrepancies and can see how math would be difficult, but this unwillingness to try, and/or compromise is really unsettling.

Just cos you won�t do well, just cos you might have to get some tutoring or some help, just cos you might have to spend a few nights pulling your hair out, doesn�t mean that you can�t try and doesn�t mean you can�t learn. I don�t know what message we have sent to kids.


11/15.02

11:30am
Am in a really really boring conference session.
Presenters of research studies ought to know that most people are really interested in the results and implications, rather than the modeling and measuring frameworks.

It�s painful. I mean, there�s no understanding in the how the research may be of value to practitioners rather than to other researchers.

1:45pm
LB, a famed researcher in my field, has a gay lisp. All the middle aged women love him. He�s got that SNAG demeanor, always nodding his head at the right moment, is eloquent in his speeches and has just the right amount of empathy for the over dramatic situations that these middle aged women often tell him about. He addresses, of course, all the women in his sessions, by their first names, as if he knows them. Just so you know, we�re all supposed to wear a conference badge that has our name printed out so large that you can see the name from one end of the classroom to the other.

I attended his session yesterday and am attending another one today. He has the same overheads. He just made the same joke that everyone laughed at. His assistant MB is Indian and has poufy hair, wears blazers that are dated back to fashion from the 80s.

I love how they both are trying to tell us how difficult our jobs are.

Duh!!!

3:30

Woman is giving sympathetic and reader digest triumphant stories about law and med school students. Not very interesting. I thought this session would be a lot more interesting, but so far it has been really pathetic. This woman has a daughter who has a learning disability and is in med school.


Have no idea why I have such lack of sympathy/ empathy today. Don�t think that I�m usually like that, but sometimes get frustrated by the way people have such low expectations of self.

oh these poor kids, when they go to college they have no one to help them with laundry

we must help these kids who didn�t score the A that they should have

think of the potential we�re missing out on

I�m bad� really bad. Am feeling backlash against these students. I should just shut up right now. Not quite PC to lash my unPC views right now. But I really don�t like these misty eyed self affirming sessions about how wonderful the education professional is.

I mean, we are wonderful, but this is kinda too much.

I think if we got paid more, we wouldn�t need these self affirming sessions. How about that?

There were some really good sessions yesterday, but today is really bad. Haven�t heard anything interesting so far.



5pm
The problem with learning, as with economics, is that it is not a science. It is hard to define, and hard to assess because narratives are so important and the individual experience is the most important but is so variable.

You cannot repeat this as an experiment.

11/16/02
Woke up with tummy ache. Went to Morton�s last night with Tom. Steak was EXCELLENT! Chocolate cake was also to die for. Anyway, felt immensely guilty this morning so went to the gym, just to get my body moving and tummy to stop aching.

They�re playing Michael Bolton�s Georgia on my Mind on the radio now. I think this is the only state where this song isn�t outlawed. Michael Bolton does wear underwear 3 sizes too small- he can�t be singing this painstakingly goosebumpy version of this song without his balls being squeezed tight.

Raining in Atlanta. This city is really really boring. Especially if you don�t have a car. If you think SF is bad, this is about 50 times worse than SF. No caf�s nearby, no little grocery stores. Just a big corporate city with housing on the fringe. Technically well planned, but truly has no culture, vibe or rhythm; all the essential ingredients in a city.

Walked about 2 miles to the Piedmont district. It was not a lot. Imagine perhaps just a busy street junction in SF, like maybe Haight and Divisidero. There were stores on the corner, and some cute coffee shops. But that was it. Just that junction of perhaps 6-8 stores. I was sorely disappointed. I managed to ease that disappointment with two new CDs. Purchased Tori Amos� and Elvis� new albums. Wish I brought my CD player. Dammit.

Checked email. Goethe Institute sent out invite to their happy hour end of this month. I really ought to get my German brushed up. Meine Deutsch ist kaputz�. Which is really all I can say. I shoulda majored in French in NUS. Then I can listen to Patricia Kaas and understand. Shit. Oh well, if I�m a quarter decent in German, I might as well go on with it rather than start a whole new language altogether.

I suppose this would be my cue to start studying. Yes, I brought my whole file on Chinese trade here. Hoping that I can write a lot more here than I can in SF� since there are technically no distractions here.