Friday, May 24, 2002

Confidential #3

A repost.

How to Spit Game at your Friend's Lady/Man

Now listen up Chirren, it's time for you to gather around the little coffee table, and listen to the story I'm about to tell.

Spitting game, or as the regular people call it "macking", has to be done with the subtlety and smooth approach like fine vodka. You must be able to have your victim or object of affection be so unaware that you're gaming him/her/it that not only until a few minutes later, BAAAM! She's faded/in love. He's buying you things/introducing you to his mama. It's letting you comb its fur/rub its belly. Ahhh, just like that Cosmo I had the other day. Smooth. I drank like a fish. Then BAAAM! I'm on the floor and I don't know where I am.

That, my children, is spitting game.

Now how to apply this technique to your unassuming friends and their significant others. First and foremost, please have a good wingman/woman/puppy. This will disarm the individual, freeing you to homewreck and swoop with the ferocity of a hawk upon the gentle little bunny that is your target. Once the individual is rendered harmless, work your way over to your intended. Do not swoop. Visually, that is. Instead, aloofness is always key. "Oh hey, what are you doing?" Is always better than, "So what's up, you wanna bone?"

The next part is the hard part.

Mackage depends largely on your skill and ability to use your newfound vodka-like abilities to wreak havoc and attain access to the holiest of holies: No, not the Voodoo Child, come on now. Well, the holiest of holies will vary, dependent on your particular kink or twist. Enjoy. Now back to Mackage. The Voodoo recommends that you apply your Mack Ability wisely. DO NOT GIVE OUT THE MACK every five minutes. Are you crazy? Think of the Mack-a-roni as a depletable supply. You only get so many chances. Dole it out little by little. Drop by aching drop. Feeeeeeeel the mackage floooooooow through your boooooooody. Don't just gush all over the place. You'll get a HAND to the face. Then you have to start all over again. Geezus, didn't I teach you anything?!?!

Seep the mackage, then back off. Continue to have the Wingman apply firm pressure to your soon to be bethrothed's ex. Mack again. Back off. Repeat as needed. Do not get any into your eyes.

Get a number. But how?

"Yo, when you ditch the zero, you can get with the hero."
"You wanna turn and burn?"
"Hey you're cool to hang out with...maybe we should hang out again."

Right, stick with the last one.

Get the digits, but dont' be a smuck. Call in a few days. Say what's up, then, hey, I gotta go. See! Leave 'em longin! Yaaaah. Then do the same in a few days. Hang out with your boy/girl/shim for a few days in between. Keep up appearances. Give the obsessee your number. Why don't you call if you got time. I gotta go. BAM!

Answering machine flashes: 3

Ooooooooh.

This technique should only be attempted with full knowledge that macking on one's homie's lady/dude/cat could lead to serious consequences not limited to, but including forced sex change, beatings and behind the back mackage on your mama. This should only be attempted by trained professionals.

Any success stories using the Voodoo Method of How to Spit Game at your Friend's Lady/Man? Please utilize the comments.

Gitcho groove on.

Voodoo



posted by Voodoo Child @ 12:40:00 AM