Can i take a detour from the baby thing right now and just kinda blog away on something that has just affected my family. two days ago i received a phone call informing me that one of my cousins (actually, a very,very close friend of the family & connected by marriage) had committed suicide. i was in shock for the rest of the night. Everyone knew she had some problems, already seeing the head doc, and has tried this once before. but to actually have it happen....
There is a possibility that she was dead for three days. Her work had called one of my aunts to check up on her as to why she has not come to work. My uncle brought police with him to break into her condo. And that's when they found her. Her place was a mess, as if she had gone on a binge of hysteria before. I couldn't help but cry in my sleep, and when i see my husband and baby. I cry because I can only imagine how it must feel to be that desperate, lonely, or hurt. Her family had all the money and material things a person could only dream of. Last night I told my baby that I will always love him no matter what. He can never disappoint me as long as I know he is happy with himself. I told my husband that we may struggle month to month to make ends meet, but I will always be there for him and the baby to provide the most priceless thing in life ----LOVE.
You also can't help but feel mad or angry. Mad at her for doing this. Mad at yourself for not reaching out more, or seeing the "signs" of what she was thinking. Mad that you were not there to stop it. Then I remember the past when two of my other cousins had attempted to commit suicide but were not successful... Thank God! But I couldn't help but wonder if they still think about it as well. Now all i can think about is what can i do to help anyone else in family to prevent them from even trying. And when you have a big family like mine... you feel like you need super human powers, and you are trying to save the world. But i guess you have to look at it like this...ONE PERSON AT A TIME.
So to all of you out there reading this... please tell those you care about that you love them. Don't wait until tomorrow...something just might happen to take that chance away. Also, if you ever feel like suicide is your answer to all your problems and pain...THINK AGAIN. To all my friends and family that are reading this...I LOVE YOU, and I will be there for you if you ever need anything...
THANKS for listening... you will see another baby update very soon.
----This blog has been dedicated to the memory of "Gigi"
There is a possibility that she was dead for three days. Her work had called one of my aunts to check up on her as to why she has not come to work. My uncle brought police with him to break into her condo. And that's when they found her. Her place was a mess, as if she had gone on a binge of hysteria before. I couldn't help but cry in my sleep, and when i see my husband and baby. I cry because I can only imagine how it must feel to be that desperate, lonely, or hurt. Her family had all the money and material things a person could only dream of. Last night I told my baby that I will always love him no matter what. He can never disappoint me as long as I know he is happy with himself. I told my husband that we may struggle month to month to make ends meet, but I will always be there for him and the baby to provide the most priceless thing in life ----LOVE.
You also can't help but feel mad or angry. Mad at her for doing this. Mad at yourself for not reaching out more, or seeing the "signs" of what she was thinking. Mad that you were not there to stop it. Then I remember the past when two of my other cousins had attempted to commit suicide but were not successful... Thank God! But I couldn't help but wonder if they still think about it as well. Now all i can think about is what can i do to help anyone else in family to prevent them from even trying. And when you have a big family like mine... you feel like you need super human powers, and you are trying to save the world. But i guess you have to look at it like this...ONE PERSON AT A TIME.
So to all of you out there reading this... please tell those you care about that you love them. Don't wait until tomorrow...something just might happen to take that chance away. Also, if you ever feel like suicide is your answer to all your problems and pain...THINK AGAIN. To all my friends and family that are reading this...I LOVE YOU, and I will be there for you if you ever need anything...
THANKS for listening... you will see another baby update very soon.
----This blog has been dedicated to the memory of "Gigi"
