Sunday, September 02, 2001

Manorexia

I'm suffering from manorexia.

Yes, it's a chronic case of manorexia. I don't find great pleasure in admitting this, but there is a profound lack of men in my life. Apparently, I have man-repellent on my clothes. In my pores. In my socks. In my makeup. Not to be confused with boylimia, manorexia manifests itself with feelings of "there are no good men that exist in this world."

I'm just joshin' ya. No, my Voodoo children, please don't rush over with random men to sacrifice at the altar. No big rush for me to get my groove anytime soon. I got other things on my mind, but a healthy distraction such as a guy would be kinda nice to get into. Getting to that stage of the game isn't always easy, especially when all around me, people are getting hitched left and right. My college buddies are all love-shackled. My girlfriends in high school? Yup, and kids to boot. I don't have a problem with it, but somehow going through school all those years required a sacrifice that sometimes makes me wonder what I've been missing out this whole time.

Not that I regret going this far in my education, but was the trade-off a life-relationship with someone? I don't know, and who's to say, really? Only the fates, I suppose.

Some would suggest that the want and need for something indicates weakness, for whatever it is that we do have is meant to be there for a reason. To want other things may preclude us from appreciating what we do have here and now. To look out the window to wish for things means we're not looking at the things that surround us and appreciate them. You see my point? It is best advised that we make the most of what we have and where we are for we are in the moment. So a lack of men may translate itself thusly: to be out of a relationship and wanting to be in one means that we want to seek love for someone else, not love for myself by my self. And when I think of it that way, it ain't so bad, because I think I'm worth the time I spend taking care of myself, and that is fully without the cooperation of any other person in my life.

This same approach goes for the material things that we want in life. The car, the house, the shoes (gasp), the clothes, the bling bling ching ching that we got going on in our lives. You don't technically need those things, but it sure would be nice, wouldn't it? Look around you today and find the things that are surrounding you. You are provided for, you are sheltered and fed. You are healthy. You are okay.

Try that today, when you find yourself wanting and needing. Sitting at the window, peering out at the world of things you want and need. And when you turn away from that window to see the things that you already have, you'll see the truths of wants and needs.

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 12:25:00 AM