Monday, June 18, 2001

This one time...on a stranded desert island...

Ever since I graduated, it seems that my time and my energy have chilled out a little. Going to bed way earlier, not stressing so much, waking up in the morning feelin' aight. Oh yah, and watching TV. It seems that my TV viewing has declined considerably with the introduction of a dissertation and DVD player.

I watched Castaway last night with la Voodoo Familia. I love Tom Hanks. I am obsessed with him. Fat, skinny, afro or short, dude got it goin' on. I love his acting style, and his ice blue eyeballs, but enough of the delicacies.

I was recommended to watch this movie most recently by Husky Boy, the movie man that he is.When it came out the first time around, I was just too into my thang to pick up my head and see it. Such is life. I didn't know what to expect, other than I knew this dude had to get off the island. All movies end happily, don't they? Well, unless you watch Russian movies where you cry great big tears just because you're totally lost, but that's just me. At any rate, I settled in on the family couch and watched...

So, they didn't have to write too much dialogue now, did they.

I liked the movie a lot. It's the kind of flick that you carry around with you for the rest of your life and you wonder about the choices that you'll make, how they'll inevitably change the path you were once travelling. It's very cosmic that way. I was waiting for Wilson to snipe out a remark or two...I couldn't handle it, then me and Buff Bagwell went around making up dialogue throughout the movie. (when Wilson was thrown out and floating around, "Hey, bitch, I'm right here, I hope you drown!") I was surprised that when he got back he wasn't more of a mess, I mean four years of isolation, you're bound to not want to be around people anymore. Is there anything else that changed about him when he was there? He didn't go the least amount crazy? He didn't come back and see a volleyball game and just break into tears? He didn't opt to move to some small island to get away from it all?

The world is a loud, scary, annoying place. There are rules, codices, problems, too many things to name that pound away at our senses and our sanity. I couldn't imagine being alone all that time and then dealing with the noise of society. I would grab a volleyball and then find another volleyball so Wilson won't get lonely.So I'd have someone else to talk to. Some people, when they encounter a traumatic situation, are usually hard pressed to become normal again, whatever that may be. They come away with flashbacks, memories, pains, shattered expectations. The world does not stop for you, my dear, nor shall it for me. This is sometimes referred to as post-traumatic stress disorder. Many men and women commit suicide over it because the transition was too much, the change between the two too intense. Can you imagine if the life you live now changed 180 degrees and you came back, how fucked you would be?

I have learned thus: that we live moment to moment, not living fully in that moment to appreciate it. I tried to explain this to Secret Asian Man, but he didn't understand, but the true treasure of our existence is in our details, our minutae, and hold on to them for the moment, and then let it go. Holding onto things keeps us in one place too long, and you spend your life looking back and behind you. The future never comes, or it comes too late.

I would be a dead Albert Miller right now, with no shoes on, cause I don't know JACK about starting a fire, much less, feeding myself. Sorry, Chuck Noland, I would have eaten Coconut meat on DAY ONE. But that's just me.

I think I would have gone crazy without the ability to communicate my thoughts in writing. Had I not had a Wilson, or in my case, I'd probably have a Dildo as a talking partner, I'd probably go similarly crazy myself.

As always, random thoughts, ramblings and a mind, busy at work.

Appreciate this, for this will come, and it will go. And when it goes, something new will take its place.

To be appreciated, to be accepted, and to be let go.

The pain is NOT in what we have lost, but it is in the inability we have to let go.

Like the penguin in Fight Club says, "Slide."

Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 3:06:00 PM