Thursday, June 28, 2001

I Can See the Fear in Your Eyes, Mom

Today is one of those happiest days in the year for all first year students: the Early Advising and Registration for New Students at the University. It's also one of the most feared days for one special group: Mom and Dad.

I had the opportunity to meet with students this morning and help them take their placement tests. Most of them were giggling little tykes who were happy to be on campus, ready to take the opportunity to enjoy their newfound freedom and mom and dad's pursestrings. They were buzzing with energy, and I had to settle them all down to take their placement tests, and for the next four hours, I got to sit over them while they tried to remember their writing skills and their algebra that they probably lost in some drunken haze after prom.

Later on in the day, I had to do a presentation to the parents. It was pretty interesting, and I could look at all of them and they were ready to jump out of their seats and ask, "What the hell are you going to do to make sure my kid doesn't turn into a freak?"

I have a new respect for parents ever since my old job wound up making me a stand-in parent for much of my day. It's not easy to let your spawn go and do his/her thing while you worry if everything is okay. You worry about the little things: are they getting along well with others, are they getting along with others a little too well? Someone asked me today, "Is there a problem with promiscuity on this campus?"

What do you say?

Honestly, a lot of my students don't exactly disclose if they're knockin' the boots with others, but I do know that the students here aren't that obsessed with getting their mack on left and right, although it does happen, I'm sure of it. But it's not like they show it on TV..Well, maybe. But honestly, it's a big concern, I had some parents call me left and right to make sure their daughters don't get involved with the wrong boys. Okay. Let me attach this leash to them.

I could see that in their eyes, they were ready to freak out. I asked them to come up with some solutions on how to best support their students, and they came up with some good things: discuss expectations, be supportive of the things that are important to them, realize that their role is going to change, and use clear lines of communication with them, etc. Those are some good starting points, but more often than not, it is important to make sure that students and parents talk. Period. That's the most crucial thing. I gave an example of a child calling home and saying, "I dyed my hair pink!" They laughed nervously, then one parent said, "That's great honey, now what shade pink are we talking about and does go well with your clothes?"

Cute. Never underestimate parents' sense of humor.

It went on for about an hour, dialoguing with parents, talking to them about their concerns, and their fears. It was nice to listen to their side of the story, and to ensure them that their students are missing them even though they may not say so. It was hard, as a 30 year old to talk to parents about how to be good parents, but I can appreciate even more their roles in the lives of students, and hopefully they can walk away with a sense that things will be all right.

Peace,
Voodoo

posted by Voodoo Child @ 10:47:00 PM