Thursday, May 10, 2001

Okay, who's been giving out our secrets...

I'm going to let this one just flow....I found this on a web page, and I damn near lost my mind. Peep this, and I'm sure you'll die laughing...It's a HOW TO for those who want to...do the Filipino thing...

Enjoy. Yes, this is a real web page.

eHow to Celebrate Halloween the Filipino Way
Steps:
1. Prepare an abundance of food to last all night.
2. Bring the food and beverages to the grave sites of loved ones when the evening grows dark.
3. Gather around the graves with friends and family of the deceased.
4. Sit on chairs or on banigs. Banigs are thin woven mats that are laid out like picnic blankets.
5. Light candles throughout the course of the night.
6. Pray, meditate and visit together.
7. Stay all night.
8. Replace the night crew with a day crew, which is made up of those unable to attend the night session. The day crew leaves the grave site at about nightfall.


They forgot egg houses of those who don't give you candy. I guess they think we sit on banigs in the freezing cold in Colma. Whatever.

Wait, there's more...

eHow to Eat Filipino Food With Your Hands
Chinese people use chopsticks, westerners use forks, Filipinos (traditionally, at least) use their hands
Steps:
1. Place a small amount of the main dish, called "ulam," on top of a little bit of rice, using your dominant hand.
2. Pinch your index finger and thumb together as if you are about to pick up a piece of cheese.
3. Include your other three fingers in the pinch.
4. Spread the pinch so that your fingers and thumb are shaped around the rice and "ulam."
5. Place your thumb behind the food.
6. Lean your head forward and lift your hand to your mouth.
7. Place fingers near your lower teeth and shove the food into your mouth with one big push of the thumb.

Tips:
Soups are often mixed on a plate with a big helping of rice and can then be eaten by hand. Otherwise, soups are eaten with a spoon.

Remember, when you go to the Sizzler or to Denny's or to freakin' some Booooourgeois restaurant, to always make sure the "ulam" is on top of the starchy equivalent.

Wait, there's MORE: (this shit doesn't stop)

eHow to Be a Proper Guest in a Filipino Home
Because the Filipino culture is very food-oriented, food accompanies all celebrations, gatherings and informal visits. It's safe to assume that being a guest means you'll be offered something to eat.
Steps:
1. Remove your shoes before entering a Filipino home.
2. Pay your respects to the elders of the household with the "mano" gesture and address them with a greeting. Mano is a gesture in which you lift an elder's hand to your forehead.
3. Always accept an invitation to eat no matter how many times you have already eaten that day.
4. Help clear the table and do the dishes unless your hosts insist otherwise. They probably won't accept your offer to help, but it will be considered favorable if you make the gesture.
5. When leaving be sure to personally extend good wishes to the elders of the household and express your appreciation to everyone.

Tips:
Filipinos might interpret a decline of their food as a personal offense. Many Filipinos live in poor conditions, so when they offer their food, they are essentially conveying that you are worth the trouble. By refusing their offer, you are refusing their hospitality.
During town fiestas, Filipinos visit each house in their neighborhood. At each house it is proper to at least sample a little bit of the food that's being offered.

Man. I can relate to poor conditions. My PIII with the 17inch flatscreen, the DVD player that's attached to my 27 inch TV and my hooride aren't as flossy as they used to be. Now sit down and eat your Ulam with your rice and say what's up to the ancestors while chillin' on the banig.

eHow to Treat Your Elders if You Are Filipino
Filipinos treat elders with the utmost respect. Mannerisms, gestures and language are used to convey this respect for parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, acquaintances and even strangers.
Steps:
1. Adopt an attitude of modesty around elders.
2. Approach elders with your head slightly bowed, shoulders slightly tucked in and hands clasped in front of you.
3. Always acknowledge the elders first when approaching a group of people.
4. Gently take the hand of an elder with your palm facing up and her palm facing down, and lightly touch her hand to your forehead as you slightly bow. Gently release the hand. This gesture is known as "mano."
5. Always "mano" to grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles and older friends of the family.
6. Always say the word "ho" or "po" in midsentence (after approximately every fourth word) and at the end of each sentence when speaking to anyone about 20 years older than yourself, whether they are family or not. This applies even when you are answering with a simple yes or no.
7. Address older sisters and female cousins with the expression "manang" or "até," which is pronounced "latte."
8. Address older brothers and male cousins with the expression "manong" or "cougha," which is pronounced "kooia."

Tips:
Cousins and siblings five or more years older than yourself are also addressed in an appropriate respectful manner.

Man, I think your latte is peepin' my cougha.Somebody say Hooooooooooooooo!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIGHT.
Voodoo

PS: Find this and more good stuff at www.ehow.com (do they have "How to Meet a Perfect Filipino Boyfriend" on there?)





posted by Voodoo Child @ 11:07:00 PM